How Not To Be A Goddess Read Online Marian Tee

Categories Genre: Romance Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 94823 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 474(@200wpm)___ 379(@250wpm)___ 316(@300wpm)
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In the thousands and thousands of years that he's been alive (I'm not actually sure how old he is; the man can be rather touchy about his age), the Lord of the Underworld has apparently failed to receive any memo about alphas often doubling as selfish, insensitive turds.

Like, seriously.

Hadrian and I had the chance to meet as strangers twice (you can know more about this by checking out You Had Me at Boo, hohoho) and in both times my husband always ended up having me move in with him and saying he's in love with me...within days.

That's just how perfect he is, and yes, I know I've ended up rambling off-topic again, but no, this still doesn't prove I'm easily distracted. I may be in my forties, but I'm also a woman in love. Hadrian and I have only been married for weeks, so of course my thoughts still get sidetracked where he's concerned.

I mean, I used to hate mornings when I was alive, and I actually did still hate it a little back when I was a ghost (please refer to Book 1: Dead After Dating for more details *snicker*), but ever since Hadrian and I became an item?

Boy, do I love mornings.

They've even become my favorite time of the day, and it's mainly because of how much I love, love waking up to finding Hadrian doing something wicked to me...or inside of me. We're all adults here, so I'm sure you get what I mean, and...fine, fine, fine, I'm digressing again.

As I was saying...Mt. Olympus is, in a word, magical, and the few ancient books that describe it do not do the place justice at all...on purpose.

Everything written about it is a lie, and all of it done at the gods' behest.

To this day, Mt. Olympus remains one of the Greek pantheon's most closely guarded secrets, and the fact that I'm now actually stepping foot on its hallowed grounds is both incredibly humbling and mind-blowingly exciting.

This should've been one of the best days in my life, and it could've been...if not for the fact that I also happen to be here because I'm being sued.

Le sigh.

Welcome to another day in the life of this not-so-newbie goddess, and now that we're all caught up once again...

Chapter One

Three judges and a goddess walked inside a tavern...

And if you're thinking that's the beginning of a joke, I kinda wish you were right.

But you're not.

That scene is for real, since the goddess is me, and the three judges happened to be Hadrian's trio of most trusted vassals.

Turquoise-eyed Aeacus was a blunt-speaking soldier born to one of Aegina's most ancient families. Rhadamanthus and his cynical older brother Minos, on the other hand, both hailed from Crete, and the latter was often mistaken for his like-named grandfather monarch, whose wife had infamously given birth to the Minotaur.

As a collective whole I simply like to think of them as Hadrian's ARM, and while books on Greek mythology often referred to the three as the Underworld's three powerful judges...

Right now the ARM had been reduced into glorified bodyguards, thanks to having an overprotective lord and liege.

And I felt for them, really.

They didn't deserve to play babysitter to my ass, which was why...

"I'm sure you guys have better things to do," I told them with a cajoling smile. "So how about—-"

Minos shook his head. "No."

"But you don't even know—-"

Rhadamanthus gave me a rather benign smile. "No."

"But—-"

"We have been given our orders," Aeacus said simply, "and we shall abide by it."

"What about my orders?" I grumbled.

It was Minos' turn to give me his version of a benign smile. "Now, now, milady."

"We must be adults about this," Aeacus chided.

Rhadamanthus pulled a chair out. "Why not take a seat while waiting for Lord Hades—-"

I lifted my chin up. "Thank you for the offer, but no. I would really rather—-"

Minos cut me off, asking politely, "What would you like to drink, milady?"

"Will you please listen to me? I'm the one being sued—-"

"I hear the poison ivy lemonade is supposed to be good here."

"I should be there with Hadri—-" I paused. "Did you just say poison ivy?"

And as if that wasn't distraction enough, Minos also waved for one of the tavern's servers, and a robed boy in his late teens came hurrying to our table.

"Milords, milady." The boy bowed so low his head nearly touched the ground.

"Your name, boy?" Minos asked.

"Spiro, milord."

"Well, Spiro..." Minos turned towards me with an unusually deferential expression. "This is the Lady of the Underworld."

A starstruck expression crossed the boy's features. "Milady, it would be my greatest honor to be of service—-"

"It would've been an honor," Minos acknowledged, "but sadly, milady appears dissatisfied with your place of business—-"

I turned to him in shock, sputtering in horror. "I said no such—-"

All three immortal judges-turned-bodyguards gestured to the table simultaneously, and it was at that moment I realized I had been defeated.


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