Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 91299 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 456(@200wpm)___ 365(@250wpm)___ 304(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91299 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 456(@200wpm)___ 365(@250wpm)___ 304(@300wpm)
I take a seat at our small table in the breakfast nook and stare down at the worn scratches and dents on the table. One is from when Mattie threw a butter knife at me over who got the last piece of pie, another from a plate Ma dropped and shattered on the wood when I told her I was accepting the full-ride to Waylon. There’s even a Sharpie mark I made when I was a kid, drawing a picture for Pop to hang in his office a few blocks over. It’s still up on the wall there, stick figures of me, Mattie, Paulie, and my parents.
She sits down across from me and clears her throat. She’s freshly showered and dressed in her usual slacks and nice blouse, hair coiffed, makeup on. Pop’s probably already gone. Running a small business never stops—even on the weekend. Plus, he’s putting Mattie through law school. That isn’t cheap.
“I’m worried about you. Is it…is it that boy in Mississippi? I thought you might bring him home so I could check his teeth or at least get a detailed history of his background.”
“He lost his parents when he was ten. They were drug addicts. He grew up with family who never paid him any attention. No one ever told him they loved him—” I stop and duck my head with my elbows on the table. I don’t want to go there and think about him, not now. It’s too fresh. It was hard enough to go into our psych class, knowing he was there when I took my new seat in the back. I’d gone to Dr. Cartwright beforehand and told him he had to move me, and after taking in my face, he did so on the spot, no questions. Maybe he knew. I’m sure he’s watched us all semester and knew there was a relationship there.
As soon as class was over, I left from the upper exit, leaving Blaze on the lower level. It wasn’t hard. Plus, he was wearing the boot, and he couldn’t exactly chase after me. I ignored all the texts he sent me and deleted every voice mail he left. I spent three nights at the library, in a far corner away from anyone, not coming home until late. I figured he’d show up at my house, and he did once he was cleared to drive, according to Penelope.
“Oh. Well, why didn’t he come with you?”
I reach out and take a slice of homemade coffee cake she’s set out for me.
She sets her cup on a saucer. “Fine. You don’t want to talk about him. Good, good. You’ve come to your senses. I’m planning a dinner tonight. Paulie and his wife are coming with their kids. He’s dying to see you. It’ll be all of us together. Joey P has confirmed too. Took the liberty of setting it up, so don’t be mad. Such a good boy. Runs his dad’s construction company since he passed—”
I stand and walk away, moving through the small den, taking in the tasteful yet worn furnishings in our small house. It’s a warm home, filled with pictures of me, Mattie, Paulie, his wife, and their kids. It’s a good place, but I can’t with Ma right now.
I step out onto the screened-in porch to see the sun rising up. Sitting on the flowered patio couch, I tug my legs under me and sip my coffee.
Ma follows me out. “Dear, don’t be upset about Joey—”
I can’t get away from her. Maybe, just maybe, I don’t want to this time. “I know Pop cheated on you. Why did you stay with him?”
The words are out and hang between us.
She inhales a breath, shuffles forward, and plops down in a matching chair across from me.
There’s a long silence, and when I look up, she’s staring at the floor. Her face is pale.
“You have no right to ask me personal questions about my marriage.”
“But you get to tell me every move to make? You get to arrange a dinner with some guy I’ve never even had the slightest attraction—”
“You’re my daughter,” she says quietly. “I only want you to be happy, and you’re clearly not. Haven’t we given you everything you’ve ever wanted, Charm?”
“I want to know why you stayed with him,” I say. Regardless of her meddling, we’ve needed this conversation—or at least I do.
She gets a faraway look on her face and sighs. “Your dad and I, we love each other. He made some mistakes early on, but we go on. He knows it was wrong, and we had some rocky times that I tried to hide from you, but we love each other. Love is give and take, Charm. I forgave him, and he hasn’t done that in a long time.”
Interesting. “How do you know?”
She runs her finger over the rim of her glass. “I just do. You think I never thought about leaving him when I found out? I did, but in the end, he begged me to stay. He loves me, loves what we’ve built. He’s my whole world, and he treats me like I’m the best thing he’s ever had. And I am! Look at this wonderful family we made for you.” Her tone is low but exasperated, and I pause.