Total pages in book: 153
Estimated words: 147021 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 735(@200wpm)___ 588(@250wpm)___ 490(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 147021 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 735(@200wpm)___ 588(@250wpm)___ 490(@300wpm)
His expression shifts, anger fading into something like horror and then sadness. “Sweetheart, I could never resent you, or hate you. You are my entire world and you have never been too much to handle.” His eyes slide closed for a moment and when they open, I see his pain. He reaches across the table, and I set my hand in his. “Loving you, getting to be your dad, to have this relationship with you, to be in your life like I am? That was not a sacrifice for me, it was a sacrifice for Zara. It was the hardest thing she has ever done, and I am so fucking proud of her for it, because I know how deeply she loves you. And she would do anything for you, even if it meant having to love you from a distance.”
“I never wanted to be a burden for you,” I admit softly. “I thought if I could be the perfect daughter—”
“I don’t expect you to be perfect, honey. That’s an impossible ask of anyone. You are a gift. You will always be my first priority. Our bond is special. We’re a team, you and me.”
“I know.” I line my silverware up on my napkin, relief over hearing this from him giving me the courage to say the things I need to. “But then I started working with Hemi. And I stopped being a student, and I started being a professional. I stopped seeing Hollis as your best friend, and he stopped seeing me as his best friend’s daughter.”
“Then that’s when he should have come to me.”
I swallow down the fears. “I was trying to protect you, Dad. And myself. I thought I could manage it all, have it all.” I roll my lip between my teeth. “And when I tried to bring it up, you weren’t particularly receptive.”
Dad arches a brow. “If Hollis was doing to you what Tristan does to Rix, I would have a hard time not putting him six feet under.”
For half a second, I consider defending Tristan, but decide against it. “Okay. Fair. But can you at least see why your reaction scared me from saying something?”
“But it was months of hiding.”
“All you have is me—and hockey and your teammates and Hollis, Dad. You’re so focused on me that you don’t leave room for anyone else. I was so focused on proving myself, to the team, to you, to me. And I was terrified of your reaction, and what the fallout would be.”
His expression grows pained. “There is nothing you could do that would make me stop loving you.”
More tears leak out of my eyes, and my dad moves from his side of the booth to mine and wraps his arms around me.
“I hate that I disappointed you,” I murmur.
“You haven’t, honey.” He kisses the top of my head. “I wish I’d left room for you to be honest. And it doesn’t help that he’s only six years younger than me.”
I sniffle and wipe my nose with a napkin. “You were a teenager when you had me. Even if I dated someone in their late twenties, you would still be weirdly close in age. And a twelve-year gap is not unheard of. At all,” I point out. “Hollis’s sister is married to a guy who’s fifteen years older than she is.”
“You can understand my struggle here.”
“Honestly, Dad? It really shouldn’t be a surprise that I ended up falling for one of the guys on the team. Just be thankful it wasn’t Flip.”
His eyes and nostrils flare. It would be funny if I wasn’t so emotional. “Dallas is still in his twenties!” he says. “He’s a nice guy.”
“Uh, he kind of has a thing for Hemi.” That’s the vibe I get from him, anyway. Why else would he put up with all the weird shit she makes him do?
“You’re not the first person to say that,” he muses. “And half the team is still in their twenties.”
“But they’re still hockey players and they’re not Hollis. Not that it actually matters since we’re not seeing each other anymore, secretly or otherwise.” The ache in my chest grows nearly unbearable with that admission. My eyes prick with fresh tears.
He frowns. “What? When did that happen?”
“You haven’t spoken to him?”
“I’m too angry to talk to him. Is this because of how I reacted?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know.”
He’s back to looking angry. “Why aren’t you seeing each other anymore?”
I fight tears but lose the battle. I pull another napkin from the dispenser and dab at my eyes. “It’s not the right time for us.”
“Is that what he said?”
“Does it matter?”
“If he’s not going to fight for you, he doesn’t deserve you,” Dad says sharply.
I lean my head on his chest. “I know you’re still angry, but my heart hurts, and I just need you to be my dad and love me, and not give me shit for falling in love with Hollis, okay?”