Total pages in book: 111
Estimated words: 104448 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 522(@200wpm)___ 418(@250wpm)___ 348(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104448 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 522(@200wpm)___ 418(@250wpm)___ 348(@300wpm)
The sour feeling in my stomach persisted throughout the day, even though I tried my best to ignore it and enjoy the mother figure I did have. Jo spoiled us, taking us to the little shop that sold handcrafted granola and trail mix and treating Lellie to a cookie while she got a much-needed coffee for herself and me.
“You know,” she whispered once we’d settled at an outdoor table in front of the shop. “Brady Kurt is gay.”
It took me a minute to recall the name of the friendly man who’d sold us the treats. I lifted an eyebrow at her. “Is he? I would have given him the secret handshake had I known.”
She waved her hand dismissively. “I just mean if you and Foster aren’t going to give it a try, maybe you could ask Brady out. He’s good with kids, too. He helps out with his niece and nephew.”
“Are you trying to find me a babysitter or a husband? I’m a little unclear at this point.”
Jo held Lellie on her lap as Lellie shoved pieces of the cookie in her mouth. Crumbs covered both of them, but Jo didn’t seem to notice or mind.
“And I happen to know he’s single. Apparently, he was seeing a guy up in Billings, but the drive was too much for both of them.”
I savored a sip of the coffee before replying. “I seem to recall earlier today, you told me I didn’t need a man. What happened in the last half hour to change your mind?”
Sometimes Jo reminded me of Silas. She had a way of looking right into your soul as if determining your eternal fate. “I don’t think you were meant to be such a loner. I think you hold yourself apart when what you really want is to love and be loved. And this little girl needs your love, Devon McKay. So whatever you have going on up in that head of yours… well, you need to get over it. And I happen to know from experience that parenting is much easier when it’s done with a partner.”
Her reference to her ex surprised me. She rarely spoke of him. All I knew about Foster’s dad was that he’d left Jo when Foster was eleven and Anna was still in diapers. His leaving had shaped Foster’s protective tendencies and had led to Jo’s fierce independence.
It was unusual for her to imply she’d lost something good and decent when he’d left.
I couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh. Jo looked up in surprise from where she’d brushed off some of the crumbs. “You’re laughing?”
“Yes. Because you’re making my point for me. Parenting is easier with a partner. I don’t have a partner. Therefore, maybe Lellie would be better off in a two-parent household.” Not that my reasons were related to my single status.
Jo scowled. “Is that what her mother would have said?”
I sighed. “I don’t want to argue with you. I just want you to respect that I know what’s best for Lellie.”
Her scowl turned into a knowing grin. “Ah. Just like a true parent.”
I closed my eyes and inhaled. Was I sure I missed having the “well-meaning” advice of a parent?
Later that evening, Tully’s recent distraction and distance resolved into a bizarre passive-aggression that took me by surprise.
“Thanks,” I said after Tully lifted Lellie out of her seat at the dinner table and offered to take her to see the horses before bedtime.
“Might be a good chance for you to make some decisions,” he said.
I glanced at him. “Decisions?”
We’d spent some time discussing my breeding program earlier in the meal, so it took me a minute to realize he wasn’t asking me about equine bloodlines.
He looked pointedly at Lellie before flaring his nostrils at me. “Unless you plan to keep her in flux indefinitely.”
“If you’re referring to her guardianship,” I said. “I’m working on it. Finding a good family for a child isn’t exactly the same thing as asking someone to water your houseplants.”
He grunted and walked out, leaving me staring after him in surprise and annoyance.
Everyone seemed to have an opinion about my custody situation, but Tully’s unreadable reaction got my back up in a way no one else’s did.
Did he agree with me that she’d be better off with someone else? It had seemed like he’d originally encouraged me to keep her, though maybe it had only come from supporting Katie’s decision. Had he changed his mind? And if so, was it because he’d been around me for a few days? Did he see something in me that indicated I wouldn’t be a good parent?
Why did it matter if he believed it when I already knew it to be the truth?
I forced myself to clean up our dishes and tidy up the apartment before preparing Lellie’s bedtime routine and setting out her pajamas. The tiny cotton tee and shorts set smelled like my laundry detergent now since she had very strong opinions about which pajamas she wanted to wear each night. For some reason, pulling her little clothes out of my laundry basket had stopped me in my tracks earlier this afternoon.