Total pages in book: 134
Estimated words: 123877 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 619(@200wpm)___ 496(@250wpm)___ 413(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 123877 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 619(@200wpm)___ 496(@250wpm)___ 413(@300wpm)
“Dude, get outta here,” Randy barked as Beckett started thumbing through his cash again.
“Had to try.” The driver’s face changed into a silly grin as he tucked the bills in his pocket and turned away, going for the driver’s side door. “It was a long drive.”
“Let’s get these inside without me having to hear or see anything that’ll scar me for life,” Beckett teased.
The momentary reprieve of missing Julian vanished with a vengeance as he again became hyper aware of his cell phone and how he hadn’t spoken to Julian since last night at the club. Julian hadn’t made one single response, either by text or call, to the half dozen Beckett had sent.
The damn cell phone grew heavy inside his pocket with all its burden. Beckett forced himself to push the lack of communication out of his mind. He just couldn’t figure out why Julian hadn’t responded.
Anxiety rippled over Beckett’s every nerve ending as he hoisted the heavy suitcases and started for the house.
Julian lived near a large body of water for much of his adult life yet never realized how completely the constant churn of the ocean was reminiscent of the battle he fought between his head and his heart. He dropped down on the sand, dressed in his professional clothing, and watched the waves lapping against the shore, rolling forward then tugging backward again, never getting too far either way. It seemed the theme of Julian’s life.
Goddamn Beckett. When had the man wormed his way through all of Julian’s protective barriers to be so firmly embedded in his heart?
Julian had always wanted back into his old life. That desire had never wavered. He just hadn’t thought it would be possible. He’d owe Beckett everything for helping him find his way back.
The gentle way Beckett had loved him had shown Julian that he had nothing to worry about. With his lip tucked between his teeth, he crossed his legs as the salt breeze filled his lungs and danced across his skin.
Maybe the next steps in his healing process were to tie himself to one man. Thomas could afford him. He hadn’t blinked an eye at the twenty thousand dollars Julian had requested. Instead, he had licked his lips in anticipation. Julian grinned at the memory and dropped his chin to his chest, staring at the sand between his slacks-covered thighs.
He should be delighted right now. He wrapped his arms around his legs and dropped his forehead to his knees, blocking out the evening sun just beginning to dip into the ocean. Why did he have so much reluctance then? Where was it fucking coming from? Was it his own insecurities he still needed to overcome? Why did he feel so incomplete?
Thane had poured everything into making Julian’s life successful. Julian may have worked hard, but there were elements of escapism in all the hours he put in at Reservations. Thane had consistently reprimanded Julian, trying to whip his rebellious behavior out of him. The dear man had also promoted him when no other employee would have risen up in the ranks like Julian had, especially factoring in all his antagonism. How would Thane feel about this decision? But Thane wasn’t the one who worried him the most.
No, it was that sweet, gentle giant who couldn’t have been any better to Julian. Beckett. The name drummed through his head like an anthem. A deep exhale rushed from his lips as he dropped his legs back into the sand. A heavy weight made Julian’s shoulders sag. His head dropped forward again. Why did he feel like crying? He didn’t know, but no matter how he resisted, a tear finally built enough steam to slip from his eyes and fall to the sand.
His finger followed, mixing the drop in the sand, hiding his weakness.
Beckett.
Julian’s brow wrinkled at the pain his actions would cause the sweet Marlboro Man. His heart hurt as he thought of the many texts he’d gotten today that, in his cowardice, he had chosen to ignore. Beckett had to be making himself sick with worry. Maybe that was Julian’s desire speaking. This having his cake and eating it too attitude he’d adopted.
No, Beckett was worrying, and Julian needed to man up and call. Needed to tell Beckett not to come this weekend.
Did Julian have it in him to lie? He could go with Thomas, test the waters without telling Beckett the truth.
No. Julian wasn’t a liar. And if he attended the gala and followed through with his weekend plans, his fate would be sealed. Beckett needed to be told. He owed him the truth.
“Julian.” He lifted his head to see Marc standing over him.
He must have been sitting there longer than he’d realized. The sun had dropped below the horizon without him noticing, darkness creeping in.
“You good?” he asked, his cell phone vibrating before he finished his question.