Total pages in book: 116
Estimated words: 110624 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 553(@200wpm)___ 442(@250wpm)___ 369(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 110624 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 553(@200wpm)___ 442(@250wpm)___ 369(@300wpm)
“You mean…you…”
I nodded. “Yes, multiple times. And I told her I loved her. I am…in love with her.”
Cedric eyes widened. “Whoa. That serious, huh?”
“I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life. The problem is, I haven’t had a chance to tell her about Ivy. I had planned to tell her everything last night but had to fly here instead. She knows nothing, and I think I might be fooling myself into thinking that she’s going to accept it all.”
He shook his head. “You’d be surprised what people can accept when they love each other. If she truly cares about you, she’ll find a way. Look at your sister and me…all that I had kept from her when we first started dating. But we got through it because we were meant to be.”
Allison reached out for my arm. “I want you to be happy, and this girl clearly makes you happy. I had never seen you with the look in your eyes that you had over Christmas when you first told me about her. You have suffered alone for five years with Ivy. You have your whole life ahead of you. You are the most loyal person I know. That is what I love about you…how you are with Hannah and Holly and how you’re always there for me. You love hard, but in this case, that’s also been a curse. No one your age should be expected to live like you have been, Jake…no one. You deserve to have the kind of love that fulfills you, like I have with Cedric and not feel guilty or like you don’t deserve that because of the hand you’ve been dealt.”
“I know I deserve it, but it’s not that simple. I can’t just fucking leave Ivy. I made a vow. What would happen to her? I’m all she has. My name is on everything. She’s on my insurance. I have power of attorney. Whoever I’m with is going to need to understand that. What if Nina can’t? This is why I didn’t want to get involved with anyone. Nina doesn’t deserve to be dragged into this.”
“Do you love Ivy?” Allison asked.
“I don’t think I even knew what being in love was until I met Nina…eating, sleeping and breathing someone, feeling like I can’t live without her. I thought what I felt for Ivy when we were eighteen was love. Looking back, it was more infatuation. But to answer your question, I do love Ivy in the same way that I love you.”
“So, you’re staying married to someone you love like a sister because you’re afraid of what will happen to her? Don’t you ever want to have a family someday?”
“I want that, sis. I do. You know how much I love the twins. I would love to have kids of my own. But I pretty much wrote that off when Ivy got sick. I never thought about those kinds of things again until Nina. But divorcing Ivy…I just don’t know how I would live with myself if I did that and something happened to her.”
Cedric put his coffee down and looked at me. That dude has some intense blue eyes. “Let me tell you something I learned a long time ago, Jake. Love has no conscience. It doesn’t know right or wrong. It’s a feeling you can’t shake that penetrates your soul, and it cannot be broken. If you’re truly in love with this girl, that’s not going to change no matter what your life circumstances are. Time will tell whether it’s true love or not. If it is, you won’t be able to live without her. End of story.” He looked at my sister.
I knew he was right.
Allison got up from the table and hugged me. “We just want to see you happy. We’ll help in any way we can. Divorcing Ivy doesn’t have to mean deserting her. I’ll look into alternative insurance plans and state aid. We’ll help, even if Cedric and I have to pay for some of the expenses. We’ve already discussed it.”
I would never let them do that, but damn, I truly had the best family in the world.
“I am not ready to think about divorce, Al. Just let me tell Nina what’s going on first, and then we’ll see how she reacts.”
***
“Hi, baby girl.”
Ivy was looking out the hospital window when I arrived. She turned around, smiled and ran to me, giving me the biggest hug I had gotten from her in a while.
“There’s my handsome man,” she said.
My stomach was in knots with guilt. She and I hadn’t had an intimate relationship in years, but sometimes, it was like her mind would revert back to the past for a fleeting moment. It came in waves and never lasted. It freaked me out when it happened.