Total pages in book: 55
Estimated words: 53529 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 268(@200wpm)___ 214(@250wpm)___ 178(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 53529 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 268(@200wpm)___ 214(@250wpm)___ 178(@300wpm)
“This is bad, Huff. Very bad.”
“I know. And it’s why the second he contacts me, I have to kill him.” I pause. “Then I need to get rid of all his work.” I look her in the eyes. “All of it, Riv. Every last drop.”
She stares up at me, and then I see my words click in her head. “Oh. For fuck’s sake. Not this again.”
River
I admit, when I was on my way here, I wasn’t sure what would happen. The only two things I knew were that I had to see him again and then scream my lungs out for his cruel, messed-up choice to make me believe he was dead.
Yeah, okay, I get why he faked his death to the world, but like I told Kyle, I’m not the world. I’m his best friend and have been since the second grade. That makes me like family, and if Kyle and his parents were in on the secret, then why not me? Aren’t I trustworthy enough? Don’t I love him as much as they do?
At least, I used to.
As for the potential threat of someone using me to get to him, I understand that, too. But I’m not the only person Huff loves. His parents and Kyle could also be used as leverage. My point is that I was left out in the cold, heartbroken and mourning for months for no logical reason.
Then there’s the other stuff: my heart kept telling me he was still alive, while everyone around me kept saying I had to let him go.
Even today, my own parents keep threatening to have me locked up in a mental hospital because I refuse to accept Huff’s death or seek professional help. I just didn’t see the point when I was only listening to my heart, and in my mind it didn’t need curing. It just needed answers. If Huff was truly dead, then someone needed to explain a few things…
For example, on the day Huff “died,” I watched him collapse in the hospital stairwell. Huff had just delivered a three-month supply of Morris’s “muscle juice” so everyone who was hooked on it could buy more time while the doctors looked for a long-term solution. Huff knew he’d been exposed to a super-concentrated, bastardized version of the formula but refused to take the drug even if it could save his life. He was worried he’d lose control and hurt me.
And who could blame him?
Blake, this guy who went to my college, claimed to be in love with me, but after a few months of injections, he became a violent monster. Huff witnessed Blake sexually assault me firsthand. And while Huff arrived just in time to stop the worst from happening, seeing Blake attack me must’ve left a scar on Huff like it did me. But for Huff, who never got over the violent murder of his sister Joy, Blake’s attack meant something different. It was a moment Huff’d been dreading for years: confronting his ghosts.
My point is that we’ve both been through some pretty heartbreaking stuff, so why would he do this do me? And how could Huff ever believe I’d buy his fake-ass death when we have a connection that goes beyond normal?
Also, I’m not dumb. I knew something was up the moment they wheeled him out of the ER that day, covered in a sheet.
Someone please explain why men in scrubs would be running, not walking, a dead man out of there? What was the hurry if Huff were truly gone?
And just why were there so many news crews and reporters at his funeral? Because Kyle wanted the world to see that his brother was dead.
It smelled like a big, fat hoax to me.
All this leads to my final point, why I’m really hurt. After years of hiding my feelings, I finally confessed I was in love with him, and Huff claimed he loved me back. It was this magical moment I’d dreamed of for years. I believed that Huff, who knew me better than anyone, whom I’d shared my most private thoughts with, was my soulmate. So when he says he’d do anything for me, I can’t wrap my head around why he wouldn’t trust me with the truth. Honesty was always the cornerstone of our relationship. Faking his death and letting me go through all those tears and anguish is a betrayal I can’t live with no matter how much I love him.
“For the record, Huff, you’re right. I did come here expecting some groveling, but I never planned to get back together with you. How could I when what you did was worse than lying. It was…cruel.”
“River,” he sits on the couch, “I did it to protect you.”
“See. That’s the difference between you and me. I never thought it was my job to save you, Huff. I felt it was my job to love you unconditionally and be by your side no matter what. Hudson River. One body of water.”