Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 75143 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 376(@200wpm)___ 301(@250wpm)___ 250(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75143 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 376(@200wpm)___ 301(@250wpm)___ 250(@300wpm)
“I can’t tell if you’re wussing out or just playing dumb.” Leaning back against the table, I mirrored his crossed arms and returned the glare he was aiming in my direction. “Maybe a bit of both?”
“You’re a pain in the ass sometimes.” His frustrated response said I’d gotten something right. “Fine. Both.”
His arms got closer to his chest and the glare held more of a pout than I knew he’d want to admit. I had more patience when it came to waiting him out, but I didn’t want to get him any more wound up than he already was.
Besides, talking about the littles and Daddy side of BDSM was kind of weird even if the other neighbors didn’t seem to think so.
“Alright, do you want to have this conversation here and keep glaring at me or do you want to try something else?” Might as well see how much he’d been thinking.
I stumped him.
Blink.
Blink.
Swallow.
“What do you mean?” His question came out quiet but smooth. I couldn’t hear panic in his voice but it wasn’t confident either.
“I think you’re feeling like you’re supposed to be self-assured and dominant, but you’re not there and you’re feeling unsettled.” As I wondered in silence if I’d misread the situation and the way he’d been wandering around the apartment frowning for the past hour, he let out a slow breath.
Bingo.
“That.” Taking another breath, he seemed relieved to have it out there because his shoulders lowered and his arms uncrossed. “I’ve been thinking about…part of my relationship with Joel where I think I’m supposed to take the lead, but I’m not feeling very…”
He shrugged as his voice trailed off, not having the right words to explain all the shit that was probably circling in his head.
“Then let’s try something different.” He couldn’t get any more conflicted, so we could only go up from there. “It’s just us for at least another hour, so why don’t you try kneeling for me.”
Pausing to give him a second to think, his brain didn’t skip to where I thought it would. “Because…because it can center a submissive and make them feel calmer while they explain a problem?”
“Yes.” I didn’t think it would feel strictly sexual to Dean like it did to Joel, but they were very different kinds of subs. “If it makes you uncomfortable, we can just go lie down and pretend we’re getting ready to put Joel to sleep.”
That got a smile from Dean and a quick laugh. “I think we’ve created a monster.”
“Oh yeah.” We should’ve known that he’d dig his heels in on that. “But it’s not the worst relationship habit he could’ve picked up from his parents.”
Another laugh from Dean had him looking more relaxed. “I would have to agree.”
There was another moment of silence, but it wasn’t as angsty that time, and he finally nodded as he let out a breath. “Yeah, let’s see how it works.”
Such a rousing endorsement of wanting to kneel for his Dom.
“Alright.” But if he wanted to feel casual about the situation, I could do that. “Come on.”
Yep, nothing stressful here…just two guys who are going to chat and one is going to kneel. Nothing to overthink.
I had a feeling Dean was repeating something close to that on repeat in his head because he had his overthinking face on. But he followed me and didn’t argue or safeword, so I thought we were making progress.
He looked okay until I sat down on the couch and placed one of the throw pillows down between my legs. That was when he swallowed again and nodded to himself. I knew it wasn’t to me because he hadn’t looked away from the pillow and was mumbling something too low for me to catch.
So I waited.
And waited.
It probably wasn’t as long as I thought, but eventually he lowered himself to the floor, slow and careful like he was overthinking even kneeling. He probably was, so I gave him a few seconds to wiggle and change his mind, but he just got comfortable and at last let out a deep breath.
And then I finally got eye contact.
It was progress, so I took an exaggerated deep breath and shifted my arms so my elbows were resting on my knees. He mirrored my breathing and actually looked like he was starting to relax. Once we got to that point, I reached out and started slowly combing my fingers through his hair and trailing them down his neck. “You look good like this. Relaxed. It makes me feel confident.”
Bingo.
He flashed me a glare but it didn’t last long. “You manipulate me too.”
“That doesn’t mean I’m bullshitting, though.” I shrugged and grinned as he huffed. “I’ve imagined you like this, but I have to admit, usually Joel is in the fantasy too and he’s egging us on to do something fun.”