Total pages in book: 137
Estimated words: 127201 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 636(@200wpm)___ 509(@250wpm)___ 424(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 127201 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 636(@200wpm)___ 509(@250wpm)___ 424(@300wpm)
Nero went silent, of course. He didn’t want love from such a pathetic worm. Miguel stopped breathing as he waited for Nero to walk away.
But when Nero moved, it was toward him.
“Don’t leave me,” he said in an odd, breathy tone, and his flashlight died, drowning them in darkness.
Miguel lowered the gun. Dumbstruck, he watched Nero’s silhouette just a few steps away. “I’m a black hole you fell into. I fucked up your life, but this is me giving it back to you. Whatever you can still salvage of it.”
Nero walked up to him, grabbed his wrist and, in a terrifying moment, made Miguel press the barrel to his throat.
“No!” Miguel flinched, but Nero’s grip was stone. “What are you doing?” His heart pounded as if it wanted to remind Miguel of its existence, but he didn’t dare struggle or even attempt to pull his finger off the trigger, for fear that he might end up pressing it instead.
“No?” Nero demanded in a low voice, leaning in so close his eyes burned Miguel in the dark. “Why the fuck not? If you want to die, why not take me too?”
With the situation flipped on its head, Miguel’s mind was in overdrive, melting like wax in a hot oven. “You deserve everything. Especially a new life.”
“Then why did you come here to get off this train, huh? Because I made one mistake back there?” Nero roared, moving Miguel’s hand, and the loaded gun, to the middle of his chest. Despite his efforts, Miguel was unable to rip himself out of his hold without risking tragedy.
“I am the mistake. I shouldn’t have… survived what happened to my family,” he uttered. “I died back there, and I don’t know how to live. Now your father’s dead, and I thought it would heal me, but I’m just as broken as I used to be.”
“Yes, you took away everything I used to have, so now be fucking responsible,” Nero shouted, climbing onto the grave as if he didn’t care if he were shot. “You’re the only man I trust! How dare you leave me?” He slapped Miguel’s cheek. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s hurting you.”
Holding his breath, Miguel pulled the gun away from Nero and threw it away, leaving them at a standstill.
His cheek burned from the slap, but all his heart cared about was that Nero trusted him.
“Before your father and his friends killed my sisters, they raped them.” He swallowed and entwined his fingers with Nero’s. “They made me watch, while our father already lay dead.” His voice no longer felt like his own. It was coming from somewhere beyond the grave. “And after it all, one of them had me lick his soft dick, in front of my mother. And then he shot me. I was thrown into a hole in the ground with my sisters, but somehow... I survived. I barely remember being there, but then there’s this flash of my mother pulling me out. That’s what I mean when I say I died there. I’m not the boy who danced tango or smiled. You can’t love a corpse,” he whispered, yet leaned in to hug Nero with his cold hands.
He froze when Nero remained motionless, but just as Miguel was about to pull back, embarrassed and frightened of having confessed such things, Nero clutched at him and rubbed his face into Miguel’s neck. “I don’t fucking care who you used to be. You’re the man I met three years ago. Fucking grump, and yet so much fun to be around. You are mine now. I forbid you from ever dying, do you understand me?” Nero asked, breathing fast as he shook Miguel.
The words hit harder than the bullet could have, and he squeezed Nero in his arms, as the weight in his chest was suddenly lifted. “Okay. I promise to never die.” He kissed Nero’s shoulder and then rubbed his face against the warm skin. He’d never felt this wanted. It was like dropping into a pool of the sweetest pudding and floating there while Nero kissed him. “But I can’t promise I’ll ever get over… what they did and give you the pleasure you want.” He hoped Nero would understand, because he couldn’t bring himself to speak frankly anymore. “Maybe you could get it… elsewhere,” he choked out, but his heart already ripped into shreds when he thought of Nero walking away to let someone else touch him.
“Where is your pride?” Nero interjected, climbing even closer. His breath smelled of rum as he grabbed Miguel’s braids and rose to his knees, barely visible in the dark. “You want me to just go off to some dude and get my dick sucked while you wait?”
Miguel growled and grabbed Nero’s arms. “Of course I don’t want that! Makes me want to kill every fucker who even has a mouth. But I can’t do this, and I want you to be happy.”