Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 84446 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 422(@200wpm)___ 338(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84446 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 422(@200wpm)___ 338(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
“Do you talk to Renzo?” she asked, moving in, but just to lean against the doorjamb.
“I… a little,” I said, not wanting to admit how little. And how pretty much the only time we spoke was when we were naked.
“God, these fucking men,” she hissed, bringing up her hands to rub at her eyes. “Don’t panic,” she said, looking at me again. “Elian and Rico are as close to Renzo as anyone can get. If Elian said it was how it was supposed to be, he’s right.”
“But you don’t think I should be out alone?” I asked, feeling like Cinna was someone who was going to give me the cold, hard truth. Even if I didn’t like what she had to say.
“I think that you’re not from around here,” she said. “You don’t know shit about this area. And you’re really young, really small, and really pretty.”
Maybe it shouldn’t have had so much impact, but her praise helped build up the rubble of my confidence. Because, well, if someone as gorgeous as she was thought I was pretty, then who was I to think otherwise?
“And no one around here, aside from us, knows who you are. So there was no guarantee that you’d be safe out there.”
“This isn’t Renzo’s fault.”
“Oh, Christ,” Cinna said snorting. “Don’t defend him.”
“You don’t seem to… like him much.”
“I love Renzo. Renzo gave me opportunities and more respect than any other men I’ve ever met. But that doesn’t mean the man doesn’t have flaws. He’s… he’s fucked all of this up,” she said, shaking her head at me.
“You didn’t want him to marry me.”
Cinna’s gaze landed on me, shrugging. “I’m not going to lie to you. I objected. Loudly and often. Couldn’t even drag my ass to that fucking church to see this shit go down.”
“Because I’m a Costa?” I asked, knowing I had to understand that prejudice. Lord knew my own family felt the same about the Lombardis.
“I mean, originally, yeah.”
“But not now?”
“Now, I’m more pissed at your family, to be honest. I mean, what the fuck were they thinking, letting you marry Renzo? Didn’t they want something better for you?”
“I… I agreed,” I said. “My family objected right up until we said our vows.”
“Why didn’t they lock you in a safe house somewhere then?”
“Because… because I wanted to.”
“You wanted to?” she asked, brows raising. “You wanted this life?”
“I… honestly, I have to admit that I expected it to be different.”
“Why?”
I don’t know why the confession spilled out of me then. When I’d kept it secret for so long.
“He saved me once,” I told her. “I’d come to check out the bookstore around here. And this group of guys were harassing me. Renzo saved me.”
“Oh, sweet Christ. You married Renzo because of some girlhood crush?” she asked, angling her head back, staring at the ceiling.
“I… I realize now how silly it was,” I admitted.
“Silly. Yeah, that’s one way to put it. Don’t get me wrong, Renzo is that guy. The one who saves girls on the street. It’s part of his rules since he took over. We protect the girls around here as best we can. But it was wrong to mistake a moral code with a kind or lovable man.” She looked at me then, and I felt like she saw far too much. “But you do love him, don’t you?”
I wanted to say no.
But it felt good to have someone, anyone, to confess to.
And although I had nothing to actually back this up, I felt like I could trust Cinna not to share it with anyone else.
“Yeah.”
“What a choice,” she said, shaking her head.
“He’s not… cruel to me.”
“No,” she agreed. “But he’s never around, is he? And he doesn’t… he doesn’t know how to be a good husband, kid. He had a shitty-ass old man. Never dated anyone seriously in his life. He has no fucking idea how to be a partner to someone. Let alone someone who loves him.”
I didn’t know first-hand about Renzo Lombardi. But I’d heard through the grapevine that his father had been a monster. That didn’t surprise me. A lot of the Costa fathers had been awful too. My brothers and I had been the lucky ones, with a loving father who took amazing care of us even after our mom died.
“I’m just worried about you,” Cinna said. “Sitting here, no husband, no friends, no family, no… nothing.”
She got it.
She saw it all.
And, God, it felt so good to be seen.
“I don’t know. I think I might have a friend,” I said, giving her a slight smile as the split tugged at my lip, preventing me from letting it spread, or I might rip it open again.
“Who? Me?” Cinna said, letting out a short cough of a laugh. “You don’t want me as a friend.”
“Why not?”
“Because I can be a real asshole.”