Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 84446 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 422(@200wpm)___ 338(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84446 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 422(@200wpm)___ 338(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
“No.” I had to do this alone.
“Sure? Lore likes me,” he said, a little smile tugging at his lips at the small taunt.
“Fucked this up by myself. Gotta fix it myself too.”
I’d had a long-ass drive to think, thanks to a shitton of traffic on an already long trip.
I ran through what Cinna said, and circled back, and remembering each time I’d been with my wife. Which, admittedly, was not very often. And mostly consisted of sex.
I mean, when I’d pulled her out of the guest bed and brought her downstairs, I’d told her that I was going to try.
And did I do that?
No.
No, I fucking didn’t.
And while a part of me wanted to make excuses, say I’d been stressed, been trying to figure out what was wrong with my family. The other part of me knew that I didn’t have to work as hard as I did. That I could have delegated more to my capos, to the soldiers, even to the associates.
I’d just… always been the hardest working motherfucker in any room. That was how I got, and kept, my power. How I built this family back up after the last boss tore it down.
It never occurred to me that being married meant I would need to cut back.
I guess I figured that Lore would be happier at home without me, not that she was sitting around waiting for me.
Because she’d had a thing for me since she was a kid.
I wouldn’t lie and say I remembered that exact interaction. I’d chased off street harassers more times than I could count. And I definitely wouldn’t have been checking out a fucking child, so she was just a face in a sea of others.
But, clearly, I’d had an impact on her.
And all I’d done was turn that dream of hers into a nightmare.
I should have done better.
Spent time with her.
Taken her out to show her off like I told her I would.
Made her not feel so used and neglected.
I just… I didn’t fucking know better.
Now I did.
And I was going to do better.
The problem was, though, getting her to believe me, to give me another chance.
And before that, even, was getting her overprotective, likely livid, older brother to let me in to see her.
“Well, if you’re carried out in a body bag,” Elian said, smirking at me.
“Then I probably had it coming?” I asked.
“Something like that,” he agreed. “I’ll keep an eye out here.”
I gave him a nod, then made my way up the steps just as an older woman was coming out, holding the door open for me.
Nico lived on the top level, and as I rode the elevator up, I was trying to think of what the fuck I was going to say.
To him.
To her.
Before I could come up with a single fucking thing, though, the doors were opening, and I was walking up to Nico’s door, and raising my hand to knock.
The door opened faster than I’d been anticipating.
And there was Nico Costa.
Tall, fit, and fuming.
“Absolutely fucking not,” he snapped, trying to shut the door, but I kicked out my leg to stick my foot in the way.
“That’s my wife,” I reminded him.
“Yeah? Maybe you should have thought about that before you crushed her.”
“I don’t disagree with you,” I admitted. “I have no excuses to give you. I’m taking full responsibility for this.”
“For her sobbing on my shoulder?” he asked. “Crying harder than she did at our Ma’s funeral. Asking me why you can’t just love her back? You’re taking responsibility for that?”
Another knife in the chest.
“I’m not trying to get you to believe that I’ve been a good husband to her, Nico,” I admitted. “I didn’t know she chose this. I thought she was forced into it. Honestly, I thought she’d want fucking nothing to do with me because of it. So I left her alone. I didn’t know…”
“She didn’t tell you she dug her heels in about this?” Nico asked.
“No. I had no fucking idea. Kinda hard to imagine her digging her heels in about anything, actually.”
“She doesn’t usually,” Nico agreed. “I couldn’t wrap my head around this. Until she told me today,” he admitted.
“Know you got no fucking reason to believe me on this, but I never wanted to hurt that girl, Nico. I just… I didn’t know what she needed from me.”
“And if you did know?” he asked, suspicious.
“I’d have tried to give it to her. Can’t claim I’d be great at it, but I’d fucking try. She deserves that, at least.”
Nico sucked in a deep breath.
The muscle ticking in his jaw said he wanted to beat the shit out of me. But the look in his eyes suggested he was trying to see my side.
You had to respect that about men like Nico. Who were able to try to see all sides. Who were mature and experienced enough to set their feelings aside to see the situation for what it really was.