Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 77730 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 259(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77730 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 259(@300wpm)
Maverick frowned, looking confused.
“Now, the doctor wants this oxygen mask on at least until tomorrow morning, when he comes to see you.”
Without taking his gaze away from mine, Maverick sat still while the nurse put the mask back on and helped to adjust his pillow.
“Feeling okay? How’s the pain?”
“Hurts a bit.”
“I’ll go get you some Tylenol, it’s almost time for your next dose anyway.”
We were silent until she returned with his pills. Once the nurse left again, Maverick finally said, “That’s why you asked me about nightmares.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Yes.”
He pulled the mask off again. “I didn’t realize I had them.”
“It’s only been the one time, and I didn’t hear you tonight. If I had, I would have woken you up before you hurt yourself.”
Maverick looked down at the bed. “I don’t even remember having them. What do I say?”
I sat on the edge of his bed. “Um…the one I heard…you sounded like a younger boy talking. You cried out for someone not to leave, and then asked not to be taken away. Then you repeated a few times that they left you. I’m guessing it was a dream about when your foster parents passed away.”
His hand went to the back of his neck, and he seemed lost in thought. He remained silent for a few more minutes before he said, “I really loved them. They were the first people I ever said those words to. And I knew they loved me.” He smiled softly. “They told me every single day. Showed it too. I remember feeling utterly lost when they died. Gutted.”
“Is that why it’s so hard for you to let any of us in?”
He jerked his head up, and our gazes caught. “My family. Me. You have a wall built up around you, Maverick, and I’m trying my best to climb over it. But just when I get to the top…it feels like you pile on more bricks and mortar with your silence.”
He attempted to take in a deep breath and winced. “It’s hard to let people in when you’ve been alone your entire life, Lily. When you’ve had nobody to count on but yourself.”
I shook my head. “Is that what you want? To be alone? To never stand on the edge of a cliff and just fall? Because that’s what I’m doing with you, and I would really like to know you’re falling with me.”
He rubbed his lips together, as if trying to keep words in. He looked everywhere but at me.
“Maverick, look at me.”
When his gaze lifted, I could see the tears, and it just about broke my heart. Maybe tough love wasn’t the way to go. I really wished my parents were here. Just as I was about to tell him it was okay, he didn’t have to say anything, he spoke.
“I’m scared, Lily.”
I took his hand in both of mine and kissed it. “Of me?”
He shook his head. “No. Well…kind of. I was devastated when Mindy and Justin died. If you ever left me, I know I would be completely broken. And I…I don’t know if I can allow myself to take that chance.”
A tear slipped free, and he watched it trail down my cheek. I could see the pain in his eyes, and I would have given anything to take it away.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You’re not hurting me, you’re being honest with me. I appreciate that. But I want you to know, I’m not giving up, Maverick. If I have to love enough for both of us, I will. I’ll admit, someday I want to hear you say you love me, but if you can’t, then I guess—” My voice cracked, and I tried to finish without bursting into tears. “Then I guess seeing it in your eyes and feeling it in your touch will have to be enough.”
He frowned. “I’d never do that to you.”
“What will you do instead? Break up with me? Because I’m pretty sure that would destroy both of us. For a couple of hours today, I thought I might lose you, Maverick. So if you don’t like hearing me say that I love you, I’m sorry, but you’ll have to get used to it. Because I plan on telling you every single day for the rest of my life.”
He reached up and put his hand on the side of my face, and I leaned into it.
Then he said the words I’d longed to hear. “I love you, too, Lily.”
Chapter Nineteen
MAVERICK
Lily stared at me with a stunned expression on her face. I could tell she was processing those words, and a part of me was also processing the fact I’d said them.
But after everything that happened today, I needed to be honest with Lily and with myself.
Lily leaned into my hand, and I used the pad of my thumb to wipe away her tears. My throat felt raw, and my voice sounded like I’d been screaming at a concert.