Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 92708 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92708 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
He rolled to his back again, placing his hands behind his head. When he spoke, his voice was deep and quiet. “When I’m still for too long, I feel things too deeply.”
My throat caught, because I understood. “I get that. But . . . maybe it doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. I mean, I feel things deeply too.”
“Has it made you happy? Feeling things so deeply?”
“Not yet, I guess. But I hope someday it does.”
He was silent for a moment. “I hope so too. You deserve to be happy.”
“Thanks.” I was afraid if I said anything else, I’d cry, so I rolled away from him and curled into a ball facing the other direction.
A minute later, Devlin rolled onto his side again, hooking an arm around my waist and pulling me into the shelter of his body. When he spoke, his voice was soft. “I do like being still with you.”
Warmth spread throughout my body. “You do?”
“Yes. If I wasn’t already married to you, I’d definitely date you.”
I laughed, covering his arm with my own. “Thank you. I feel the same.”
“There are times, Lexi, when I wish I could offer you more.”
“Devlin, stop. I’m not asking for more.”
“I know you’re not. I’m just saying.” He buried his face in my hair. “Right now, I wish I could offer it.”
We drove Devlin’s car back to Michigan the following day, and for two people who liked to talk as much as Devlin and I did, the fifteen-hour ride was oddly silent.
As I chewed on the end of one braid, I wondered if he was thinking about the things we’d done last night, or the things we’d said.
He’s a dude, Lexi, I reminded myself. Do you think he’s reminiscing about sweet nothings or about tying you to the wall and licking bourbon off your skin?
Which had been fun, of course, but the thing that stuck in my mind was what he’d done afterward. The way he’d taken care of me. Changed the sheets. Given me his T-shirt. Held me close. Opened up about his reluctance to settle down and have a family.
When I’m still for too long, I feel things too deeply.
Then I remembered how good he was with Sara, how much he adored her, how she’d light up when he smiled her way. He liked taking care of people. It was obvious.
But he was afraid of loving them. That was obvious too.
Still, I couldn’t help the shiver that moved through my body when I recalled he’d spoken softly in my ear. I do like being still with you.
It was as close to those three little words as I was going to get.
As for me, I’d fallen madly in love with my husband.
And I had no idea what to do about it.
NINETEEN
lexi
Two weeks later, I watched him zip up his roller bag in the pre-dawn darkness.
He was booked on an early morning flight out to California. His interview was at three o’clock this afternoon, he’d see his brother Dash for dinner, and tomorrow, the guy who wanted to hire him was going to take him golfing. He’d fly home Sunday.
As he checked his pockets for his keys, wallet, and phone, my heart grew heavier in my chest.
Which was stupid. I had every reason to be happy.
The venture capital had been transferred. Construction was underway. A new website was being designed. A new chef had been hired. A new cocktail menu had been designed. Devlin’s brother Austin was even making a custom bar for us out of wood salvaged from the original interior of the main lodge. And the deed transferring ownership of the property to us had been secured.
Everything I wanted, I’d gotten.
But this hollow ache in my chest refused to go away. I was doing my best to hide it, but Devlin could tell something was up with me.
He sat on the edge of the bed and touched my shoulder. “Hey. You’ll be okay while I’m gone, right?”
I sat up taller and hugged a pillow to my chest. “Yes. It just feels weird that you’re leaving. We haven’t spent a single night apart since . . . since Vegas.”
“You won’t even miss me. You’re sleeping at Winnie’s tonight, right?”
“Yes.” Winnie, Ellie, and I were getting together at Winnie’s house for a home spa night and sleepover. Her stepdaughters would be with their mom this weekend, so she’d invited me to crash in their bedroom.
I was looking forward to the girl time, but as he kissed me goodbye and told me he’d call me later, my chest felt hollow. My throat was tight. It was only after I heard the front door slam that I whispered the words I wished I could have said while he was listening.
“I love you.”
The door at Winnie’s house was opened by two young girls, both wearing aprons and name tags. “Welcome to Halluna Day Spa,” said the shorter one, whose name tag said Luna. Her blond curls escaped from a bun on the top of her head.