Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 92743 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92743 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
My lips twist, but I can’t force a smile. I can barely push out, “The night my dad caught my mom out at that bar with another man. The night of his accident…” I suck in another breath that doesn’t feel like it delivers oxygen to my brain. “That guy was Weaver Tripp.”
Elaina’s jaw drops again and her hand moves to hover over her open mouth. “Holy…”
I nod and swallow past the golf ball lodged in my throat. “Yeah.”
“Shit,” Elaina finally murmurs. “So were they…”
I shrug, every muscle in my body feeling too tight. “I don’t know. But I mean, probably. Right? She was in her early thirties, and he was like…twenty-something or whatever. I doubt he would have been interested in an older woman with a kid for any other reason.”
“Oh, wow,” Elaina says, looking sick to her stomach.
“Do you think I’m gross?”
Her brows snap together. “Of course not! Oh my God, no, it’s just the situation is kind of…”
“Gross,” I supply.
She winces. “Well, yes. A little.” She hurries to add, “But that isn’t your fault. Or his! You guys had no idea. And that was a long time ago. You were eight so like…sixteen years? That’s a good chunk of time.”
“It doesn’t matter. Having sex with someone my mother also had sex with is never okay. Never.” I drop my head into my hands, muttering beneath my breath, “And I’ll never be able to forget him. No matter how hard I try.”
Elaina makes a sympathetic sound. “It was that good? I mean, I’m not surprised. He looked like he’d be good. Some people just have that air about them. That ‘I know what to do with my body when I’m naked’ kind of energy, you know?”
“It’s not just that,” I say, keeping my elbows braced on my knees and my head in my hands as I confess the secret I’ve kept from my best friend, “It was my first time.”
She’s quiet for a moment. “First time with a full-grown man?”
“No.”
“First time on a boat?”
I lift my head, glancing her way, my cheeks hot with shame. “No, my first time ever. With anyone, anywhere.”
The furrow between her brows deepens. “What? That can’t be right. I know you and Keith never got around to it since he was scared of STDs or whatever, even though you were both virgins.” She rolls her eyes. “Such a weird guy. But what about Felix at rugby camp, junior year?”
“We only made it to third base.”
Her chin rocks back. “What? No, you guys snuck into the equipment room after hours. You even borrowed a condom from my stash. Remember?”
“I remember, but…I lied.”
“What?” she squeaks. “Why?”
“My best friend had fully embraced her sexuality and was having an amazing time getting naked with boys, and I was still a virgin, who’d only kissed three people. I was embarrassed. I felt like I was falling behind on the whole growing up thing.”
Her gaze softens on mine. “Sexuality is so personal, Gertie. There was no need to feel rushed or embarrassed. I wouldn’t have judged you for taking things at your own pace.”
“I know that now,” I say. “But at seventeen, I didn’t. So, I lied and I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be sorry. I get it.” Her head tilts thoughtfully to one side as she studies my face. “Are you sure you felt ready last night? Did Weaver steamroll you because he’s older and wasn’t thinking about his lady friend possibly being inexperienced?”
I huff. “Um, no. He didn’t pressure me. I’ve been ready for more than making out for a long time. It’s just this town. You know how it is. I work with half the guys my age and the other half are assholes or relatives.” I lift a shoulder before adding in a softer voice, “And I told him. Before we… I told him I was a virgin.”
Her eyes widen. “Oh. Wow. Well, that’s good. Great, actually. Communication is key to a good relationship.”
“It’s not a relationship. It was a one-night stand.”
She arches a brow. “Mr. Sexy’s guest appearance in your life this morning would say otherwise. And anyway, it doesn’t matter. Communication is still key, even if a relationship only lasts twenty-four hours.” She leans into me, nudging my shoulder with her smaller, sharper one. “But I think you should consider seeing him again while he’s in town. Men who are great in bed are hard to find. And I’m sure you didn’t learn all the fun things he has to teach you in one night.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m not an idiot, Elaina. Sex isn’t that hard. I’ve watched porn. I knew what went where way before last night.”
“Sex is about so much more than that,” she says calmly. “And you know it. And that’s why you’re scared.”
“I’m not scared,” I say with a tight laugh. “I’m disgusted. He slept with my mother before he slept with me. It’s so gross, I want to vomit every time I think about it.”