Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 80620 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 322(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80620 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 322(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
“Oh really?” she snarls as she slams her hands down on the counter, just two feet across from me. “And how was I supposed to know that? How was I supposed to fathom that when I was scared shitless over being pregnant and alone? When the man I loved and trusted dumped me because his career was more important?”
“It doesn’t matter what I did to you,” I say softly, the anger vibrating in my chest. “I had a right to know I had a child. You deprived me of three years with my daughter, and nothing I did to you would ever justify that. Nothing you could say could ever make up for that.
Gracen deflates right before my eyes. She seems to shrink inward on herself and her eyes go flat. Whatever I thought I knew about her selfishness in hiding Lilly from me, I suddenly realize that no matter how furious I am with her, it pales in comparison to the guilt she’s feeling.
She raises a shaky hand and pushes back a lock of hair behind her ear. Her eyes focus on my beer bottle and her voice quavers with strain. “Um…I’m a…kind of tired. Haven’t been sleeping well. I’m just going to hit the bed and we can talk about it in the morning.”
Guilt and concern gnaw at me but I push it back. “You’re not leaving, Gracen. Whatever it is you’re thinking, don’t be thinking that. I want time with Lilly, and that means she stays here.”
Her blue eyes are flat and unemotional as she looks up to me. She finally gives the barest of nods in acknowledgment and turns away. I watch her walk up the back staircase to the second floor, shoulders hunched, legs moving like they’re filled with lead.
When she’s out of sight, I pick up my beer and dump the rest of it down the drain. I’m exhausted and suddenly can’t wait to close my eyes and block out the world for at least a little bit.
For tomorrow, I become a dad.
Chapter 2
Gracen
“Pop-Tarts or Cinnamon Toast Crunch?” I ask Lilly. She sits at the long table that seats eight that separates the kitchen from the living area.
“Eggs and sausage,” she says without taking her eyes off the TV screen in the living room. She’s in a Paw Patrol phase for the time being. Last week it was Doc McStuffins.
“Sorry, baby,” I tell her as I ruffle her hair. She rolls her head to get away from my touch, but that just makes me grin. She doesn’t like her Paw Patrol interrupted. “Out of eggs and sausage, but we’ll go to the grocery store later today.”
That gets her attention. “Will Marek be going to the store with us?”
I cringe, pulling the refrigerator door open as quickly as possible to hide behind it so she hopefully doesn’t see said cringe. It’s getting so hard to field questions from her about the man she is very curious about but really doesn’t understand who he is.
A flash of anger heats me up from the inside out and I close the door a little too hard after grabbing the milk. My conversation with Marek last night didn’t quite go how I’d planned. It turned into the same bitter argument we’ve been lobbing at each other the few times we’ve actually talked.
I’m still hurt and feeling abandoned because he dumped me. I feel all righteous when I’m pointing that out to him, but all he has to do is remind me I deprived him of three amazing years with Lilly and I’m drowning in guilt. So much guilt and self-hatred that I can’t even look at him when he throws that in my face, so I retreat from his loathsome stare and vicious words.
He wins and we go on as before. Not talking and not getting anything resolved.
Marek seemed to make a commitment last night to getting to know Lilly. He wants her to know he’s her father, and it’s time. I’ve been waiting on pins and needles for him to get up this morning, figuring we might as well sit down with her and explain things. Lilly is always up at the crack of dawn, which means so too am I. Marek is a bit of a late sleeper, though, and my nerves are firing on all cylinders waiting for him to grace us with his presence.
I look over at Lilly before reaching into the cupboard for a plastic cup. I had to go buy child-appropriate plates and cups when we first arrived, ignoring the abundance of paper plates in Marek’s pantry that he prefers to eat off rather than dirtying dishes. She’s watching me expectantly for an answer, her curiosity over Marek far more tempting that Sky and Chase and the rest of the pups on TV.
I open my mouth to tell her something vague because I have no clue if Marek is going to wake up today and bail on us like he usually does, or if he’s going to man up and be a dad to Lilly. I don’t even get a sound out when Marek walks into the kitchen and asks Lilly, “Is Marek going where with you today?”