Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 72154 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 361(@200wpm)___ 289(@250wpm)___ 241(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72154 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 361(@200wpm)___ 289(@250wpm)___ 241(@300wpm)
“It had better be, or you’re going to go with me to get plastic surgery. I can’t have a flappy cooter,” she told me bluntly.
The nurse beside me choked on her own spit, and I snorted.
“Push, dammit. I’m ready to meet her.”
Janie did the moment her next contraction hit, and her shoulders were delivered.
Janie said a slew of more curse words, and then the baby was suddenly there.
“Can I cut the cord?” I requested.
Janie nodded.
“No!” Rafe said. “Jesus. This is my kid, not yours.”
I shrugged and allowed Rafe to cut the cord.
The jerk.
“Can I hold her first, at least?” I begged.
Janie was steadily laughing as she clutched the slimy, slippery, rather nasty-looking child that had just shot out of her vagina to her chest.
She didn’t seem to care that the baby was dirty, either.
I guess it was because those were her fluids.
There was a fine line in our friendship, though.
I didn’t pop pimples on her ass, and I didn’t touch any bodily fluids that came from below the belt.
Though, there was this one time that she popped a pimple on the back of my thigh…
“God,” Rafe shook his head in disgust. “Y’all are horrible. I don’t know why I deal with y’all.”
I batted my eyes at him playfully. “Because you love us. And you know that Janie loves me, so you’ll never let me go.”
Rafe’s eyes went intense. “Remember that if you ever try to leave.”
I felt a shot of fear shoot through me for a short moment, and then a rush of warmth.
I liked that my best friend had that. I really, really did.
And, while their new, little family was greeting their newest addition, I pulled out my big camera—my Nikon D4S—and started to snap away.
I’d been doing that periodically throughout the day, and my smile lit my face as I started to scan back through the photos.
Once I was sufficiently satisfied with what I captured, I waited for the new parents to give up the baby—which they did moments later when the nurse explained that they needed to get the baby’s APGAR—whatever the fuck that was.
I steadily took more photos, getting almost giddy as I thought about all the great shots I had to play around with in Photoshop later.
Rafe sidled up beside me as I was taking pictures of her toes and said, “Thank you for getting her through that.”
I took one last photo before I looked up at him.
His eyes were wide, sincere, and full of love.
“You’re welcome.” I winked. “I don’t think I could stand it if she left me. I’m not sure if you fully understand the relationship you’ve entered into.”
He grinned. “No, likely not. But I’m gonna one day. And when that day comes, I’ll thank you again.”
I winked at him. “Or you might just kill us.”
Rafe burst out laughing, and that woke the baby up, who started to cry with a vengeance.
I started taking pictures of that, too.
“So, what’s her name? I can’t call her ‘hey, you’ for the rest of her life.” I paused. “Well, I probably could, but she might not like it in a few years when she can finally understand that she wasn’t loved enough to be given a real name.”
Rafe snorted, as did the nurses.
One nurse, in particular, picked up the little girl and bundled her up in a swaddle so awesome that I was honestly jealous.
“Do you think you could do that to an adult?” I questioned. “I’ve always wanted to be a human burrito.”
“I guess we could always try later,” she offered.
And that was how, three hours later, I found myself wrapped up beside Janie.
“You’re not going to leak any fluids on me, are you?” I questioned.
She snuggled into me, pressing her ass against Rafe’s head who was leaned back in the recliner next to us.
“No,” she paused. “At least I don’t think so.”
I giggled.
“I don’t think I can do this by myself,” she whispered.
I pressed my face against her hair since it was the only thing I could move, then whispered into her ear, “You remember that pregnancy pact that we made when we were younger?”
Obviously not quiet enough, because Rafe started laughing.
“Yeah,” Janie sounded tired, but she was also glowing.
“I’m never, ever, ever having a baby,” I told her. “You just persuaded me that sex isn’t worth it.”
Janie started to laugh, then pulled my hair, causing me to screech.
“You have two years to keep our pact,” she ordered, pointing her finger at my face. “We always said that the other person would get pregnant within two years so that our kids could be best friends!”
I grunted. “You would be okay with sharing your husband’s sperm with me?”
I looked at Rafe, who had suddenly stopped laughing.
“Hey, I never heard that part of the agreement,” Rafe started to object.
Big, bad, scary Rafe wasn’t so scary when he was faced with the prospect of having to father a child with a woman that wasn’t his wife.