Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 81423 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81423 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Fuck. I rubbed a hand over my face. Was it really such a big deal anymore? But then I knew my troubles were a lot self-induced. Between my mom and my anxiety over being picked apart… My pulse thudded against my skin, my vision going blurry. I focused, forced myself to take a couple of deep breaths. There was no reason to freak out. “Yeah, Steve, I’m being careful. But I can’t…not always…”
“I know, kid. We’ll discuss it when you get to New York on Thursday. An interview and photoshoot fell into my lap, and it’ll be good for people to hear from you right now, since you’ve been in hiding and there’s no new music.”
My chest tightened. I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on the sound of Bear running in the grass and birds waking up. “Okay. I’ll be there.” Heading to Manhattan was the last thing I wanted to do, but I knew I didn’t really have a choice. “But I’m coming back here afterward.”
“Yeah, sure. Sounds good. I have another call. See you soon.” Steve hung up. I didn’t take it personally. That was simply the way he was.
As if he could sense something, Bear ran over, jumped so his big paws were on my chest, and licked my face. It made me smile. I rubbed his face and neck. “You’re a good boy. You like making people feel better, don’t you?”
“I do too.” Law’s arms wrapped around my waist from behind. He pressed kisses along my neck. “You okay?”
Bear ran into the house, and I turned in Law’s arms. “I’m sorry about last night. I haven’t felt like that in a long time. I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold it back.” Hell, I would have left his house and gone back for my guitar if I had to. It was like an obsession when I got like that.
“It’s okay. It’s beautiful to watch when you get in the zone. I notice you didn’t answer my question when I asked if you’re okay, though.” He let go of me and nodded toward the kitchen. “I smell coffee. I’ll make us some ham-and-egg croissants while we talk.”
I followed him inside. “Is there anything I can do?”
“Nope.”
We each made our coffee, and then I sat on the counter, watching him pull food out of the fridge. He wore only a pair of black boxer trunks, and I couldn’t help but admire his ass, remembering what it was like to be inside him—what Law had given to me and no one else. It still didn’t compute sometimes, why he cared about me the way he did, why someone like him chose me, but I knew he did, and I wondered if he always would. If maybe there were some things that were just written into the plan—not by God, because I didn’t know if I believed in him, but if there were some things that simply were, no matter what. He would be that for me. I didn’t doubt he could find someone else if he wanted to, but I didn’t know that I could.
“I have to go to New York on Thursday.”
Law looked at me and frowned. “Okay…”
“Not for good or anything. It’s only a few days. I told Steve I was coming back. I have to do an interview and a photoshoot.” I fucking hated interviews.
“I’m glad you’re coming back. You don’t want to go?”
“You know how I hate the attention on me. Interviews stress me out.” Photoshoots weren’t my favorite, but I could deal with those easier. I smiled when an idea struck me. “Do you want to go with me?”
Law’s eyes softened even more, before casting down as if he felt he was failing me in some way. “I can’t, Rem. Not on such short notice. I have a café to run.”
“Shit.” I rubbed a hand over my face. “You’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking. I thought it would be cool to get to do something together.”
His smile was so big, I felt it, like the heat and passion from it went from Law to me. “I like that you want me to.”
Because it hadn’t been like that before. I would have had to pass him off as a friend, of course, but yeah, before I wouldn’t even have risked him going there with me. “I’m going to talk to Steve while I’m there. To, um…figure out a plan or something. Like I said before, it won’t happen overnight, but I’m in it, Law.” I didn’t want to let him down again. The alternative was losing him, and I wouldn’t let that happen.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. It might get tough for me for a while. I have to tell my family…” Fuck, I didn’t even want to think about that. “I’m sure. Are you? It’s a lot to deal with.”