Total pages in book: 66
Estimated words: 63282 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 316(@200wpm)___ 253(@250wpm)___ 211(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 63282 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 316(@200wpm)___ 253(@250wpm)___ 211(@300wpm)
Last night, he dominated me so completely I forgot everything else. My world was made up of extremes, of pain and pleasure. Nothing in between.
After something like that, usually I’d expect a quick “thanks” as the guy zips up his pants and disappears.
But the way Luca babied me last night after he fucked me . . .
“Sarah . . .”
The way he wrapped his arms around me and played with my hair until I fell asleep . . .
“Sarah,” Brian says louder, jarring me back to reality.
“What?”
“Haven’t you been listening to me?” he asks.
“Sorry, Brian. I was just . . . reading through this folder you gave me,” I say, lying through my teeth.
“I said I found a camera hidden in the corner of that shelf. See?” Brian points at the floor-to-ceiling cabinet stretching across the wall behind the counter.
I nod as my gaze lands on a little black electronic thing, about the size of an electrical plug.
“Whoever put it there must know that we don’t use that shelf very often. I don’t know how long it’s been sitting there. There was some dust on it when I found it.” Brian picks up the camera and gives it to me.
No doubt this is one of Luca’s little gadgets.
“Don’t worry about it,” I tell Brian. “I’m sure it belonged to Peter. Maybe as he got sicker, he thought it would be a good idea to have someone keep an eye on him, even if they couldn’t be there with him.”
“Oh, yeah. I didn’t think of that,” Brian says, his face a mixture of relief and sheepishness. “Sorry I made a big deal out of it.”
“That’s okay. Better safe than sorry, right?”
“Yeah.”
I take the previously-hidden camera with me to the exam room. The little red light is still on. I wonder if that means Luca’s watching me and recording me right now.
A thrill shoots down my spine, knowing Luca must’ve hidden more spy cameras, both in the lower floor where the clinic is, and the upper floor where I used to sleep.
Technically, I still sleep upstairs because I haven’t officially moved in with Luca yet. It’s still a temporary arrangement at this point.
Besides, I told Luca last night that I wasn’t going to bring feelings into this . . .
I can’t help it, though. And he doesn’t need to know.
As far as Luca knows, to me, our relationship is only physical. Oh, and we’re supposed to just be friends, too. Friends with benefits.
So maybe I am developing more feelings for him. But it doesn’t matter. It’s okay if he doesn’t feel the same way about me.
I mean, life is fleeting, and if I can only spend this one month with Luca . . . then so be it. That’s better than not at all, right?
It feels like such a privilege to even know someone like Luca exists. It gives me hope. It makes me feel like maybe it’s possible for me to live a normal life.
I denied that I had an addiction the first time Luca accused me. But deep down inside, I knew what I was doing wasn’t healthy.
Even though I don’t go looking for dominant men online that often, Luca’s right: it only takes one mistake to ruin everything.
It’s not that I didn’t agree with his assessment of me. I just couldn’t see any other way for me to be. I couldn’t imagine living and functioning normally without also needing to have anonymous sex with men who’d hurt me as they fuck me.
But now I see the sex doesn’t have to be anonymous. And it doesn’t have to be with multiple different men.
Maybe . . . Maybe I’m not too screwed up for a healthy relationship. It doesn’t have to be with Luca if he doesn’t want me in that way, but just knowing it’s possible for me is a revelation.
“Brian found this today,” I tell Luca that night as we walk into his house. I take out the little camera from my bag.
He takes it from my hand. Cocking an eyebrow, he says, “Maybe we can have some fun with this.”
“Ooh . . . Sounds interesting.” I grin as my hand searches for the light switch. “Maybe later tonight we can use that.”
“Later tonight?” Luca asks darkly. He grabs my arm. “You're my doll, aren't you?”
I step backward until my back is right against the wall. The light switch is right beside my head. But with Luca caging me in, I can't care about lighting.
Besides, the yellow glow from the streets outside stream in through the blinds. There’s enough light for me to see Luca, looking all dark and dangerous.
I nod.
Luca leans one strong forearm on the wall and drags his thumb over my lips. “That means I can take you any time.”
“Yes, Sir,” I say.
“What am I going to do with you?”