Total pages in book: 196
Estimated words: 180438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 902(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 601(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 180438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 902(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 601(@300wpm)
I felt a cold shiver and rubbed my arms to warm them. How did my life come to this? Where did everything go off the rails? The nagging thought that I was never happy in my life, that all the fake smiles and make-believe for the cameras left me empty and sad.
I wanted to fight it; I wanted to argue even with myself that, yes, I did have a good life, but looking back, none of it was good. Pretending to the world that my life was rosy didn’t make it so, and this was the proof. I was alone in my empty childhood home with no husband, no prospects, and nothing to look forward to.
I had a phone full of contacts and no one to call. They were all Ryder’s friends, all people who only wanted me around as long as he was part of the package. It was glaringly obvious, even to my fractured mind, that I was nothing without him.
It’s not fair. Elena stood tall on her own even after the hell that I had made her life. No matter what I threw at her, she still overcame it all. I thought for sure that I would be the same, that with Ryder by my side, I would get to enjoy the same adulation and adoration she did, so why didn’t it happen?
My family was more worthy than hers; she’s a nobody, a mutt who had luck on her side. It should’ve been me; that should’ve been my life. I’m everyone’s ideal blonde, beautiful and thin. Why didn’t the world like me? I swiped at the tears that fell and felt the rough scarring that was left there from me, tearing at my flesh.
My heart felt as if it would explode in my chest the more I thought of the unfairness of it all. And then I remembered something that Mary and Scott had mentioned before. A conservatorship. Yes, that’s right, I can have Ryder committed; that way, I can take over everything.
It had only been a thought in the beginning, a backup plan in case things didn’t go our way. Yes, now would be the perfect time. Everyone knew Ryder was nothing more than a drugged-up shell of his former self, there was more than enough evidence of that, and we had a doctor ready to sign off.
Yes! I fumbled with my phone in my excitement and looked for Scott’s number in my contacts, my heart racing now for a different reason. Why hadn’t I thought of it before leaving L.A.? I almost laughed as the phone rang, and when he picked up, I almost passed out from relief.
“Scott, I have an idea.” I didn’t even let him answer before I rattled off my thoughts.
“You stupid bitch, you screwed up everything. Where the hell are you? I’d like to ring your fucking neck.”
“What? Why? I didn’t say anything about you; I only mentioned Mary.”
“Shut up; you don’t know who’s listening.”
What the hell was he talking about? His outburst had me looking around the room as if expecting someone to be lurking in the dark. “Have you seen what’s going on on the fucking internet? You had one job, and you couldn’t even keep that druggie asshole under control. What a waste you are. Anyone else in your position would’ve had a kid or two to keep him tied down, but you couldn’t even do that because he wouldn’t even fuck you at his worse.”
His words were like darts, each one hitting harder than the last. Only one thing of what he said stood out, or maybe my mind was protecting me from the harsh reality of his accusations by clinging to that one thing. “What do you mean about the internet?”
“Our association is over. Don’t call this number again.” He hung up the phone, and I felt even more alone than I had before I made the call. “What does he mean about the internet?” It didn’t take me long to find it, and when it did, my blood actually boiled. I screamed out loud and only then realized how sore my throat was from all the times I’d screamed in the last twenty-four hours.
Before I could think better of it, or maybe because I had no one there to tell me what moves to make, I jumped right into the middle of the ongoing discussion about my life. I hate people. I hate their fake, weak proclamations of love and friendship.
They seemed to take the most umbrage at the fact that I had tried to drive that bitch crazy. Hypocrites. Which one of them, knowing that their husband was still hung up on some bitch wouldn’t have gone to any lengths to destroy her?
Why is it any different for me? Why can’t they understand? These were the same people who had lauded our relationship. Now they were all bemoaning the fact that they had fallen for my lies, my lies as if I was the only one who had a hand in this.