Total pages in book: 196
Estimated words: 180438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 902(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 601(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 180438 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 902(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 601(@300wpm)
It felt good to know that it was real, and I wasn’t just saying it, that I no longer held or felt any ill will towards him, that I could put the past so neatly behind me. My head was full of dreams, and I was really looking forward to a life together with him.
Not the one I’d imagined when we were younger, but one that had grown and shaped us from the life experiences we’d been through. I had a slight hiccup when I thought about the children we may never have, not biologically anyway, and there was a little tear in my heart at the fact, but other than that, life couldn’t be better, so I wouldn’t ask for more.
“What was that?”
“What?”
“The light in your eyes just dimmed.” Tears filled my eyes at his response. The fact that he knows me so well, that he sees me, something I had fought hard to achieve before and could never seem to.
I threw myself into his arms and hung on for dear life. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m just so happy.”
“Try again. Happiness didn’t dull the light in your eyes. What were you thinking just then?” The words almost choked me, but since we were on this new path to redemption and had promised each other not to hold anything back from each other again, I had to share my thoughts.
“I was just thinking about the future and the fact that I can’t give you the children you’ve always wanted.” He climbed in beside me and took me in his arms.
“I told you. We can adopt. Having kids doesn’t mean as much to me as having you, so don’t worry about it.”
Those words were comforting, but what woman doesn’t want to have babies with her man? In the past, when I first learned that I might not be able to conceive, I felt like less than a woman, like my body had betrayed me in the worst way possible and I didn’t deserve any other happiness since I couldn’t do the one thing that every woman should be capable of.
It had played hell with my mind, and to be honest, the idea of him having kids with Janie had haunted me more than imagining the two of them making love, though that had been a horror in itself. Speaking of my mind, it hasn’t been acting up lately, not since he came back.
I no longer feel like we’re at odds with each other, my thoughts and me. It’s as if his return had worked out all the kinks, and I was feeling better, healthier than I had in a very long time. I’d always known that he was my soulmate, that I was at my best when I was with him, and those years when he was gone, when I felt like I hadn’t been the same for him, had been the hardest.
But now he’s back, and I know without a doubt that he’s the other half of me. A part of me that I cannot survive without, not in a healthy way, at least. Char was right. He’s my twin flame.
***
*Janie*
“Where the hell am I? Who the hell are you, people?” The last thing I remember is seeing the shadow back in my old childhood home and the fear that I felt just before I passed out. Now I’m awake, and I have no idea what time it is or how much time has gone by. I was even more afraid when I realized that I was tied to a chair in an empty room with cement walls and nothing else but a light bulb on a string like some old mob movie.
Somewhere in my mind, I knew that the only reason I wasn’t as afraid as I should be was because of the drugs that I’d taken, but I still felt a bit apprehensive. Oh no, are they going to kill me like they did Mary and Scott? No, if they were going to kill me, surely they would’ve done it by now.
“Are you more of my husband’s friends?” They look like the type, like the two who had come to our house and stayed before I ended up in the hospital. Why can’t I remember their names?
“Can’t you people hear me?” There were two of them, and they just stood there with their backs against the wall, not paying me any attention. One of them looked in my direction but said nothing before turning back to his friend. I guess that was to let me know that they could hear but just weren’t interested in talking.
Fine, I was in the mood for their ass. “Why did you idiots bring me here, and who told you to? And what kind of drugs did you give me?” Nothing. I tugged against the ropes they had wrapped around me to no avail, but still, the fear wouldn’t come. I felt calm, peaceful even, which I most definitely wasn’t, but I couldn’t for the life of me dredge up the energy to be mad.