Total pages in book: 166
Estimated words: 169305 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 847(@200wpm)___ 677(@250wpm)___ 564(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 169305 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 847(@200wpm)___ 677(@250wpm)___ 564(@300wpm)
“Coming along nicely,” Dallas replied, chewing on a Boudin Blanc sausage at the same time.
The girl had less class than a cum stain.
“You’re high if you think I’ll put my trust in you with any female, let alone my own daughter.” Romeo claimed the seat next to his wife, while Oliver slopped beside Junior on the other end of the table. “Zach’s the godfather.”
“Get your head out of the gutter.” Oliver feigned disgust, glowering at Rom. “I would never try anything with the daughter of my own best friend.”
Romeo raised a brow. “Really?”
“Yes, really. That would be bad manners, seeing as I fully intend on seducing his sister-in-law.” Ollie tipped his glass, snapping his fingers in a server’s direction. “Grey Goose martini. Three olives. Actually, make it two. I’m drinking for Daytona Beach, as well.”
“It’s Dallas.” She pried a grape off the centerpiece and popped it into her mouth before discovering the hard way that it was decorative. “And please don’t make me your enabler.”
I steered the conversation to familiar territory. Sex—and everything that came with it—was not my area of expertise.
My attention settled on Senior, the least infuriating of my three guests. “I trust you received my official proposal.”
“We did.” He sliced into the buttery wagyu, scooping a dash of potato espuma and shiso chimichurri. “While it’s an interesting offer and we’re flattered, we do believe you undervalued our company by a billion dollars.”
Actually, I’d undervalued it by two billion, but he wanted to meet me in the middle.
“I did no such thing, Mr. Conner.” I reclined against the upholstery, ignoring my food. I didn’t do fine dining. I ate to survive. “In fact, all I’ve done was deduct my liability fee, which is sure to come.”
Junior frowned, angling his body forward. “Liability fee?”
His sunglasses perched on top of his nose.
Indoors.
Had Oliver arrived in his wife pleaser, he still wouldn’t be the worst dressed in the room.
“Yes, liability. I’m sure you’re familiar with the word, seeing as your existence sums it up.” Reluctantly, I turned to look at Junior. “Your company serves people who let others watch them suck toes and grind against public subway seats. This whole operation is a lawsuit waiting to happen. Therefore, I reserved the money I calculated I’ll need to hose the legal fecal matter off Dot Cum when shit hits the fan.”
Jasper tilted his head, reaching for his wine before remembering Ollie had stolen it. “You deducted one billion dollars because of an imaginary lawsuit?”
“It’s not imaginary.” Oliver cut into his steak. “People sue companies every day. If they can find a reason to sue a diaper company, what makes you think they can’t find a good reason to piss on a site where anyone can say they’re over eighteen and create pornographic content?”
“Not to mention, ad revenue for social media companies runs in the high nineties.” I fixed the utensils arrangement Farrow had screwed with until they aligned parallel to one another. “And about eighty percent of family-friendly corporations would never consider advertising on your platform.”
“It’ll be a bitch to bring the boys to your milkshake yard.” Romeo, who’d lost his mind almost two years ago, finished cutting his wife’s entire steak. “You can’t treat your estimated market value as a true and tested number.”
“Exactly.” Ollie snapped his fingers, receiving his martini and tipping my server a hundred bucks like he was at a restaurant. The man was as in touch with reality as a space cowboy. “Nobody wants to advertise their product next to a dick pic.”
Dallas grinned at Ollie. “Speaking of, wasn’t yours splayed on the cover of the New Yorker?”
The little troll.
“Well, yeah, but that is one photogenic penis.” Ollie popped a tiger prawn into his mouth. “It deserves an Esquire cover, leaning over a horse in cowboy gear.”
“I see you’ve given it some thought.”
He nodded. “Even hired an art director to give me pointers in case my beautiful penis is ever invited for a photoshoot.”
Dallas tipped a shoulder up. “Seen better.”
“You’re biased.” Ollie yawned, taking a swig of his martini like it was beer. “Another penis impregnated you. You have skin in the game.”
She patted her husband’s lap. “Rom actually has the most beautiful circumcision.”
Why were these people my friends?
Why had I not opted to live in a cave in the Alps?
I had zero desire to discuss other people’s genitalia.
“Dad.” Junior finally ripped the sunglasses off his face, stomping his gold Versace sneakers. “You can’t sell it at a bill under the market value. That’s crazy.”
Senior glanced Jasper’s way. The latter rolled his tongue along his teeth, rearranging his new glass of wine by its stem without a word.
His gaze shifted back to me. “Is one billion your best and final offer?”
“While I’m still in the race.” I laced my fingers together. “I have a terrible attention span when it comes to acquiring new companies. The industry is ever-changing. So is my mind.”