Total pages in book: 41
Estimated words: 37781 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 189(@200wpm)___ 151(@250wpm)___ 126(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 37781 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 189(@200wpm)___ 151(@250wpm)___ 126(@300wpm)
“Excuse me?” I ask, stunned if he knows about Beth and me already and even more stunned that he’s being so blasé about it all.
“My birthday is coming up next week,” Brad says knowingly, shaking his head and wagging a finger at me. “I’m touched you remembered, Bo. I really am, but you didn’t have to organize a secret meeting to plan anything special. We can just have a ribs and games night like we did last night. That was fun, wasn’t it?”
“Ribs and games,” I repeat to him in a monotone, finding it hard to believe what I’m hearing. It makes me feel like keeping Beth and me under wraps might be easier than I thought. It’s our guilty consciences making us feel like everyone else knows, but to Lucy and Brad, seeing Beth and me together is as everyday as the paint on the walls. Neither of them would ever suspect anything else going on, at least not so far. The two of us still know, making it harder to come clean eventually with every passing minute we pretend otherwise.
Beth’s eyes meet mine across the room, filled with the same thoughts I’m fighting not to broadcast. We already want each other alone again but feel like we’re only gonna make things worse the longer we leave it. What are we supposed to do, make a big announcement?
“That’s great you’re not pregnant, Lucy! And yeah, happy early surprise birthday, Brad. Oh, by the way, Beth and I have been at it like rabbits all morning, and I’m already thinking about taking her ring shopping.”
Beth creases her mouth. Even though we know we love each other in a way that’s forbidden in the eyes of others, we do actually love each other. That’s something neither of us can do anything about except enjoy it.
I try reverse psychology to steer “us” out of the conversation. “I met Josh earlier. Lucy’s friend,” I let Brad know, watching his features shift to concern and then amusement once he pegs that I’m okay with her having a boyfriend.
I’ll leave it up to Lucy to tell the pregnancy thing to whoever she feels should know, but Brad’s no dummy. He’s got his own dad-tuition, but it’s something so dark and unthinkable in his mind that he has to dismiss it. That’s what I thought I could do until I saw Beth again yesterday for the first time in six months. After that, she’s all I’ve wanted, and now that I have her, it seems like I’ll have to keep her locked up somewhere with the two of us creeping around so we can be together.
Right this second is a great example. I have so much I wanna talk to Beth about, and here we are, having to stand apart almost like strangers because of what other people will think of us if we openly share how we feel. It’s a deception I don’t like, but the alternative is even worse right now, so with a glance of resignation, Beth and I have our first dress rehearsal in pretending we’re not together—only for the sake of the others.
I gotta say, it’s a feeling I don’t like one bit. She is mine now, but only when we can truly be alone. Sharing “us” with the rest of the world will have to be gradual, although I don’t fancy the chances of that happening smoothly either, but will it be worth it? Is it worth it?
Of course, she is. Beth is everything to me already. We have our whole lives ahead of us. That will most likely include tougher problems than facing what other people think, even if those people are my daughter and my best friend. They’re both special people, and I love them, just not the same way I love Beth.
I know in my heart and soul that Beth and I have to be together, and it’s gotta be a forever deal.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Beth
Two weeks later…
It had to happen, I suppose, and it does. Unexpectedly and awkwardly, but with nowhere near the level of nuclear fallout Bowdie and I were expecting, not from Lucy, anyhow.
Her recent dalliance with Josh, who she’s officially broken it off with again, saw a change in her. She became more solitary, even wanting to spend a lot less time with me without really saying why. I know it’s because we’re growing up and maybe a little further apart.
I’ve been helping Bowdie at the office, taking the job he offered, and Lucy’s been busy looking for work herself. She’s determined to get a place and pay her own way. Bowdie’s in two minds about the whole thing, but it’s what Lucy wants, especially once she comes by the office unexpectedly in the afternoon around the time Bowdie calls it a day, and I’m in my favorite position underneath him.