Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 101254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 506(@200wpm)___ 405(@250wpm)___ 338(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 101254 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 506(@200wpm)___ 405(@250wpm)___ 338(@300wpm)
And in the mirror…
In the mirror is a woman I don’t recognize.
She looks like me, but she’s not me.
She’s someone who has detached herself from her body. And she’s looking at me, judging me, telling me I’m nothing.
You’re nothing, Tessa. You’re nothing.
…
Three Months Earlier…
“You’re nothing, you cock tease.”
Garrett shoves his cock inside me.
How did I think I was falling in love with this monster?
How did I…
I’m not me anymore.
I’m simply a vessel. A vessel that he’s masturbating into.
I turn my head.
“No, you look at me. You look at me while I fuck you.”
But I no longer feel him.
My body feels it, but not my mind. I go inward, to that safe place.
My grandmother’s embrace.
“Why would anyone hurt me?”
“No one will hurt you as long as your nana is alive.”
…
I swallow hard when a woman exits the stall.
Quickly I turn on the water. Put on my game face. Pump some soap out of the dispenser and wash my hands while I feign a smile.
She smiles back at me as she washes her own hands and then slides them under one of the automatic dryers.
Leave. Leave. Leave.
When she finally opens the bathroom door and exits, I let out a deep breath.
I look in the mirror, and this time I see myself. I see Tessa.
My body has recovered.
Still, just to be sure, I grip the counter once more. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in again.
Exhaustion weighs on me. I haven’t been eating right, and I haven’t been sleeping well.
When I do manage to fall asleep, nightmares plague me.
But I have to get a grip.
And not just on this counter.
My best friend is getting married—married to the man of her dreams. Married to the man of anyone’s dreams, really. I can’t let her down.
I draw in a breath again. Check my reflection in the mirror to make sure I’m still me.
I nod to myself.
Then I leave the bathroom and—
Thud.
I look up, get my bearings. I ran right into Benjamin Black.
He grabs my shoulders. “I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”
“Yes.” I pull out of his grasp. “Were you waiting for me?”
“No… I was heading to the bathroom.”
Oh. Of course he was. The men’s room is right next to the ladies’ room.
“Right. Sorry.”
He gazes up and down my body. “You sure you’re okay?”
Is he serious?
Of course I’m not okay. I just had a fucking panic attack in the bathroom. I haven’t eaten, haven’t slept, and he’s the one who made me come out tonight.
No. My best friend, Skye, made me come out tonight.
Never again.
“I’m fine,” I grit out.
He stands in my way.
“If you’ll excuse me,” I say.
He cocks his head, looks me over. “Tessa, wait right here for me while I go to the bathroom. I want to see that you get home safely.”
“That’s not necessary.”
He reaches out, but he doesn’t touch me. “Please.”
Something in his voice makes me think about it.
Please.
I have no reason to fear Ben Black. He’s the brother of my best friend’s fiancé. I’m certainly safer with him than I am with a strange cabdriver or Uber driver, aren’t I?
“How?” I ask. “Do you have a car here?”
“I just need to call my driver. He’ll pick us up here, and I can see you home.”
“A driver?”
“He’s paid very well by my company. He has top security clearance. I assure you that you’ll be safe.”
I look down, nibbling on my lower lip. He knows what’s bothering me, all right. I hate that everyone knows.
I may as well be wearing a scarlet letter like Hester Prynne. Except I haven’t committed adultery. No. And it would be a string of letters, not just one.
Tessa Logan was drugged and date raped. Tessa Logan almost died.
“Please,” he says again. “Let me do this for you. Let me do this for Skye and Braden.”
I swallow. Nod. “All right.”
He smiles at me then, and I see kindness in his brown eyes. The old Tessa would’ve found him extremely good-looking. The old Tessa did find him extremely good-looking. I’ve seen him on television, all over the internet, in magazines.
The old Tessa would be doing a lot more than just noticing his looks. She’d be flirting up a storm.
But that Tessa doesn’t exist anymore. In her place is a shell. The shadow inhabiting my body.
Ben takes out his phone and taps on it. “Sherlock will be here in just a minute.”
“Your driver’s name is Sherlock?”
“Sherlock Gatsby,” he says.
I can’t keep my jaw from dropping. “Someone really named their kid Sherlock Gatsby?”
He cracks a grin. “Stranger things have happened.”
Can’t argue with that. “Thank you,” I say. “For, you know. Your kindness.”
“No thanks needed. I will always help a lady who needs it.”
His words and his strong-yet-gentle voice—not to mention his rich, low timbre—almost send a shudder through me.
Almost.
The old Tessa would be making the most of this evening. She would’ve had a margarita—maybe two. She would’ve talked to Ben about his likes and dislikes, and she would’ve found a way to innocently slide her fingers over his arm, lean in, and whisper something suggestive into his ear.