Total pages in book: 111
Estimated words: 102136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 511(@200wpm)___ 409(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 511(@200wpm)___ 409(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
“I love you too.” My eyes lowered to stare at her bump. Our baby, our baby was in there. Like Isaiah, Maddie would want me to hold our baby, like I did with Isaiah. You did not hurt him, Maddie’s voice repeated in my head.
I did not hurt him. I did not hurt him.
“Asher.” Maddie let go of my waist and hugged Asher. He hugged her back. “I am so happy you came.”
“So am I,” Ash admitted, meeting my eyes.
I turned to see AK and Viking approach. “You okay brother?” AK asked. I nodded.
“Shit!” Viking said, whistling low. “You back? We got our Flame back?”
“I don’t know what you mean,” I said, confused.
Viking smiled and rubbed his hands. “There he is. There he fucking is!” I still didn’t understand what Viking was saying—I often didn’t. Maddie took hold of my hand. “A motherfucking phoenix from the ashes,” Viking said, shaking his head. Viking looked at Rider’s mama. I didn’t know why she was here. I didn’t remember her being here on the journey. “See that Ruth! I can be all poetical and shit.”
“Yeah, a real motherfucking Wordsworth,” AK said.
“Who’s that?” Viking asked. AK grabbed hold of Viking’s arm and walked him back to the van. I was tired as we followed. Ash walked behind us. Maddie climbed in the van. So did Ruth and Ash. But I looked back at the river one last time.
“Rest well, Isaiah,” I whispered, and then climbed into the van beside Maddie. I pulled her to my side and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. I needed her close. I needed her more than fucking ever. I stared down at her face when the van pulled out onto the road. She was fucking beautiful.
“Are you okay, baby?” she asked.
I wanted to say things to her. But I didn’t know how to get them from my head, how to speak them. So, I nodded and inhaled in her scent. Maddie leaned in as close as she could. Her stomach almost touched mine. My hands curled into fists. I wanted to touch it. I wanted to touch where our baby grew… but I couldn’t. Not yet.
We had been driving for a while, when Ash suddenly shouted, “AK. Stop!” AK quickly pulled to the side of the road. Ash was looking out of the window.
“What is it, kid? You okay?” Ash reached for the door handle and yanked it open.
“Flame,” Ash said. I moved to the door. He was looking at a house. I didn’t know whose house it was. But then I saw the trees. I saw the road. My fucking chest wanted to rip in two. “They’ve built a new house over ours,” Ash said. It was our house. My blood turned fucking cold as I thought of the underground cellar.
This house wasn’t like ours. This was white. It had a porch. It was nice, not the shithole we had lived in. Suddenly, the door opened and two kids ran out. I fucking held my breath when they ran into the yard. They were laughing… the kids were laughing. I couldn’t take my fucking eyes off them. No one ever laughed in our house—no one but my Poppa. The girl ran to a tire swing hanging from the lower branch of a tree.
Ash sucked in a breath. “That’s where I found my mama,” he said, pointing to the tree the tire swing was on.
“Asher,” Maddie whispered, and put her arm around my kid brother.
“That’s where she died, Madds. That’s where she hanged herself… where I found her, dead.” Ash lowered his head and ran his hand across his face. “Where that kid is, laughing… it’s where my mama died.”
The door of the house opened again. A woman ran out. She had short blond hair. She ran to the kids. They ran away, laughing again. I didn’t recognize what I was seeing. “Why are they laughing if she’s chasing them?” I asked Maddie.
Maddie looked at the house too. “Because they’re happy,” she said. “That’s how families should be. Happy. Free. They are playing.”
I didn’t understand how people could behave like that. I never had it. I kept watching them, wondering if they had kept Poppa’s cellar. Wondering if their mama locked them in their rooms, with no clothes or bed.
“See how she loves them, Flame. See how she loves her children.” Maddie said, and laid her head on my shoulder. I pulled her close. My stomach felt fucking weird watching them. My chest felt warm. I couldn’t tell whether or not it was the flames. It didn’t feel like them. “That’s how it will be for us.” I looked down at Maddie, at her bump. She rubbed her hand over her stomach. “When we have our child, we will be happy. We will love our baby and keep it safe.”