Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 117574 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 588(@200wpm)___ 470(@250wpm)___ 392(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117574 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 588(@200wpm)___ 470(@250wpm)___ 392(@300wpm)
“Yes, it’s a placeholder. It’s a family heirloom with lots of sentimental value, so that’s what I gave her for now, while I’m a student and money is tight; but, yes, I’ll get Charlotte something much better as soon as I can afford it.”
Mr. DiMarco furrows his brow. “Now see, I’d accept that load of horseshit explanation, considering your student situation, if I didn’t happen to know you’ve got a surefire way to make some big money, so you can afford a much bigger diamond for Charlotte right fucking now.”
My heart sinks into my stomach. An easy way? What does he mean by that?
Before I’ve mustered the courage to ask, he leans forward, smiles wickedly, and says, “Put on your mask and put on some more puppet shows, Salami. Or, hell, get some more piercings, and you’ll have enough for a big, fat diamond in no time flat.”
Holy shit.
My jaw nearly clanks onto the patio table.
When I don’t speak because he’s rendered me speechless, Mr. DiMarco chuckles and says, “Who do you think is Lucille1990?” He winks and points to his own chest. “And how about Catfish2000?”
“Carlo?”
He touches his nose. “I gotta hand it to you, Auggie, you and Charlotte are damned entertaining. You made it fun to pay myself back. I didn’t foresee doing that, to be honest. It’s a first. But once Carlo found out what you two were up to, I couldn’t resist helping you out a bit. Call me a softie, I don’t know. In the beginning, I never thought Charlotte would be able to raise the money in time for the birthday party. That was part of the psychological torture, see. Making her come here, empty-handed, and look me in the eyes. But then, when Carlo found you two online and showed me, I said, ‘Now that’s what I call doing whatever it takes. If some of those deadbeat dumbfucks really wanted to repay me, they’d find a way, like these two. Look at ‘em go!’ So, I started paying you, here and there, to help you pay me. Yeah, I knew I was paying myself back, but I was having too damned good a time doing it to help myself. Especially as the shows went on, I must admit I became a genuine superfan. ‘Titty-fucking motherfucker!’” He bursts out laughing. “That was pure gold, Salami. Funniest thing I’ve ever seen. I laughed so hard, I cried. My wife came in and thought I was having a heart attack.” He motions vaguely to my lap. “How are you healing down there, by the way? Based on the way you’ve been hobbling around the party, I’m guessing you’re not feeling too good, huh?”
I can barely speak. But I manage to say, “Yeah, I’m pretty sore.”
“I can only imagine.” He belly laughs again and wipes his eyes. “Now, that’s a man in love who’ll do anything to protect his woman. Good for you. You’ve got my full respect.”
I don’t know what to say. But thankfully, I don’t need to figure something out because, suddenly, the party inside begins collectively singing “The Birthday Song.”
Mr. DiMarco claps his palms together and rises from the table. “If I don’t get in there, my wife’s gonna be mad at me for missing the cake. Tell your fiancée—The Unicorn—we’re all good. Her debt is hereby released. Happy engagement to you both.” With that, the mob boss sends a clipped hand gesture to his bodyguard and marches into the house, leaving me to hobble after him, slowly, feeling equal parts dizzy, disoriented, incredulous and relieved . . . and also wincing with every step I take.
29
CHARLOTTE
My hand is clasped firmly in Auggie’s as we ride in the taxi to our hotel. We’re both feeling relieved and euphoric. When we get to our hotel, we won’t be able to celebrate our good fortune with some hot sex, unfortunately, due to the piercing guy’s strict instructions. But I’m sure we’ll order a bottle of champagne and make out like teenagers. I can’t wait.
After Auggie came back inside from his private conversation with Mr. DiMarco, I was shitting a brick. A truckload of bricks. But he whispered to me that it was all great news. “We’re free,” he whispered. “The debt is forgiven. I’ll tell you everything he said after we leave.” I couldn’t believe my ears, but I trust Auggie completely, so I felt hopeful.
As quickly as we could, we said our goodbyes and extricated ourselves from the party. And then, with our rolling bags in tow, we practically sprinted several blocks to a nearby Starbucks. And that’s where we bought iced coffees, took them to a quiet, outdoor corner table, and sat and talked for over an hour.
When Auggie told me everything Mr. DiMarco had said, I felt a mixture of emotions, and still do. Euphoria. Relief. Shock. Mortification to find out Mr. DiMarco and Carlo had watched Auggie and me doing all those crazy, sexual things. Mr. DiMarco is Lucille1990 and Carlo is Catfish2000? I could puke, every time I think about it. But, mostly, I’m thrilled and relieved to finally put all the stress, fear, and paranoia behind me, and behind Auggie, too, forevermore.