Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 117574 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 588(@200wpm)___ 470(@250wpm)___ 392(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117574 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 588(@200wpm)___ 470(@250wpm)___ 392(@300wpm)
“After a lifetime of fantasizing about this moment,” Auggie says, “the astronaut is finally going to become the first man, ever, to touch ground on the virgin soil of Planet Pussy.”
That’s my cue. Virgin. We improvise a lot during our shows by now. But we do still plan for certain trigger words and cues, so we don’t forget to include important plot points or funny lines.
With a snarky look on my face, I turn my head toward the camera and deadpan, “I can practically hear all of your eyerolls and snickers, people. May I remind you this is fiction? It’s called acting, for fuck’s sake.” I return to Auggie and bat my eyelashes. “Sorry about that, Mr. Astronaut. Please, continue. Virgin soil. First man, ever. Let’s go. I’m horny as fuck.”
Auggie cracks up, even though he knew that’s what I was going to say in this moment. The gist of it, anyway. Apparently, my delivery was funnier than Auggie anticipated. As he chuckles, his massive hard-on bobs and sways. His stunning abs contract and clench and his smile lights up the entire room. Even from behind his Lone Ranger mask, Auggie’s blue eyes are twinkling like sapphires. It’s my favorite thing, watching Auggie Vaughn enjoying himself, whether he’s doing it during a show or when we’re walking Lucky or snuggled up on his couch.
I turn to look at the camera again, even though we didn’t plan for me to do it twice. “Do you see what I have to deal with here? The man’s funny bone is even bigger than his boner. And that’s saying a lot.” I return to Auggie to find him cracking up again. Even more enthusiastically. “Seriously?” I say, even though I absolutely love it. “Pull yourself together, Salami. You’ve got a wet and aching Pussy Planet to explore.”
God, I love Auggie’s laugh. He never fakes it. Ever. Which only makes it all the more adorable and satisfying when he loses it. Frankly, the fact that Auggie can’t get through a show without busting up, at least once and usually more, is one of our secret weapons. Our audience’s comments make it clear they love it when Salami Slinger breaks and can’t keep going, every bit as much as they love it when Salami Slinger makes me come so hard, my eyes tear up.
“Okay, back to our expedition,” Auggie says, wiping his eyes. “Sorry about that, guys.” He returns the vibe to its former spot, hovering above my clit. “Landing gear engaged. Thrusters set to low. Clitoris Peak locked in as my precise landing spot.”
He begins lowering the device, but suddenly jerks it up a couple inches before making contact with my flesh. “Houston, we have a problem. Sensors are picking up potential radioactivity in the topography surrounding Clitoris Peak. We’ll need to gather soil samples for safety check before landing the shuttle. Stand by.”
Auggie places the vibrator next to my naked hip on the bed, leans over, and begins planting soft kisses and swirls of his tongue over my lower torso—my belly, hips, and pelvis. When he works his way up to my breasts, he laps his tongue over my hard nipple while brushing his fingertips teasingly across my pelvic bone. When his fingers begin stroking the folds between my legs, his mouth becomes more voracious. He’s now enthusiastically kissing, licking, and nibbling on my neck and jawline, and his formerly stroking fingers are now dipping in and out of me.
Holy shit. I didn’t think it was possible for me to get this aroused again today, given how exhausted I am and the intensity of my two prior orgasms; but Auggie’s somehow figured out a way to get me ramped up to full-throttle, yet again.
As Auggie’s fingers continue penetrating me, and my pleasure continues rising higher and higher, I moan and writhe and shudder. When we started this project, we didn’t foresee our shows devolving into straight-up porn the way they have. But now that we’re here, and making so much damned money doing it, I can’t deny I thoroughly enjoy it. As it turns out, I get off on being watched. It turns me on to know there are people jacking off while we’re getting off, too.
Auggie begins dragging his fingers across my G-spot, just the way I like it. When my moans intensify, he chokes out, “The planet is now confirmed habitable. Wet and warm. So fucking wet.” He slides his hand out of me and two fingers into his mouth. “It’s sweet, too. Fucking delicious. Narcotic.” He’s panting. “The astronaut would rather die than leave Pussy Planet without landing his craft. He’s touching down now, no matter what happens next. If he dies, it was fucking worth it.”
That wasn’t scripted. But, fuck, it was hot.
There’s pre-cum beaded on Auggie’s tip by now. Clearly, he’s every bit as turned on as I am. I grab his hard cock to get his full attention. I know that look of impending intoxication on his face; if I don’t remind him what comes next, he’s going to forget every damned thing he’s supposed to do.