Total pages in book: 66
Estimated words: 76696 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 383(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76696 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 383(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
I excused myself to go to the bathroom and released a long breath when I was hidden in the toilet stall. This wasn’t my crowd. When I stepped out, I froze. Brittany stood in front of a washbasin and was reapplying lip-gloss. Her eyes met mine in the mirror. This wasn’t an accidental run-in. “You are here?” I said in surprise.
She straightened, a thin smile on her face. “Of course, my father and Zach’s father are best friends and have been members in the club forever.” She shook her head. “You look like a fish out of water out there. You hate those people. But it’s what you’ll have to get used to if you stay with Zach. Those people will become your people, and their ways will become your ways, and eventually you’ll be a hopeless alcoholic like Aby.”
I frowned. “If it is so bad, then why do I get the feeling that you wouldn’t mind being at Zach’s side for all that.”
“Because,” she said, taking a step closer to me. “Those are already my people. I’m one of them, I’ve always been one of them. Their games and backstabbing are what I do best. And I’m too strong to become alcoholic. I won’t break down because my husband cheats on me. That’s what pool-boys and masseurs are for. I’d find someone to distract me.”
She turned to leave. “Don’t look so shocked. That’s how it works. That’s the world Zach has grown up in. He might try to be an average law student right now, but eventually he’ll become what he was meant to be.”
After she’d left, I needed a couple of minutes to compose myself before I joined Zach again, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Brittany’s words.
***
It was late afternoon when we returned to the house and I was exhausted. Keeping up a front was exhausting. Even Zach’s mother who’d been charming and almost exuberant at the country club seemed to collapse back upon herself the moment we were inside.
“Could I have a word with my son?” Robert asked with a too polite smile.
Zach narrowed his eyes at his father, but I let go of his hand and followed his mother into the kitchen. She opened the fridge and searched for something. I assumed some kind of alcohol. When she didn’t find it, her shoulders slumped and she turned to me. “Zach’s trying to be a good boy,” she said quietly. “But he’s his father’s son. Maybe he won’t leave you because he’s worried what you’ll do if he does, but he won’t love you. I know because I’m living that reality.” My lips parted in shock. She smiled. “I really like you, Amber. I want you and Zach to be happy…Please excuse me. I’ll have to leave you for a moment.” With that, she walked out of the kitchen, leaving me alone.
After a moment, I also left the kitchen and headed for the guest bathroom, but froze when I heard Robert’s voice coming from the living room.
“You brought her here because you knew how I’d react. You knew I’d say what you are thinking but too polite to say aloud, or too cowardly to admit to yourself. That girl is not for you.”
“Why? Because she makes me happy and you prefer me miserable?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. The girl is not for you because once you join me in the company you need someone at your side who can charm the pants off of clients, someone who has no trouble lying through her teeth, someone who can be every bit the trophy wife men in our position need, someone like Brittany.”
I stifled a gasp. I peered through the gap in the door and saw Zach and his father facing each other.
Zach scoffed. “Brittany? You think she’s a good match because she’s the daughter of one of your best clients. She means better business.”
“So what? It’s not like she’s hard on the eyes. And she’s like you.”
“Like me?”
His father smiled coldly. “You’re both not exactly faithful.”
Zach’s face hardened. “I have Amber now.”
“Amber is shy and polite and barely able to hold my gaze. She won’t impress anyone, believe me. She’s your flavor of the month but that won’t last. Whether you’re able to admit it or not, Zach, you are like me. You can’t be monogamous. You will always look for the next hot piece of ass, and what happens to Amber then? That girl wouldn’t survive a marriage to you. Look at what marrying me meant for your mother, and she was never as weak as that girl. Do you really want that for Amber? Let her go. Let her find some boring accountant who will make her happy.”
Weak. I wasn’t weak.
Was I?
“I can’t,” Zach said. I can’t? What kind of answer was that? Shouldn’t he have said I ‘won’t’? ‘I can’t’ sounded as if I was stopping him.
“Why? Your mother told me a bit about the girl. Are you worried she’s going to kill herself if you dump her? Believe me I know how it feels to be shackled to a woman because she threatens you with suicide. They won’t go through with it, don’t worry.”
Zach didn’t say anything. I felt like I was falling. Was he staying with me because of what my dad had said? Was he scared I’d kill myself if he left me?
Robert put a hand on Zach’s shoulder. “Think of your future, of Amber’s future, and then do the right thing and cut her loose as long as this isn’t serious. If you wait longer, it’ll only get worse.” Zach’s father shrugged. “If you’re too selfish to let her go, then keep her on the side. If she’s good in bed, then for all I care keep her for that, though I can’t see the appeal unless you like them meek and submissive.”
I stumbled back, not able to bear another moment. My heart was pounding in my chest as I hurried back toward the kitchen. I’d always thought that Zach could do better than me. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who thought like that. What about Zach? He hadn’t disagreed with his father. Maybe deep down he knew that we wouldn’t make it. Maybe he’d realized that I wasn’t enough. Maybe he was tired of vanilla sex. Maybe he wanted to escape but couldn’t because his conscience wouldn’t let him. Brian and my dad had made sure he knew how fragile I was and seeing my suicide scars probably hadn’t helped matters. I wasn’t sure what to think anymore. Zach’s father right with one thing: I couldn’t live like Zach’s mother did. Knowing that my husband was cheating on me and drowning my sorrows in alcohol. I’d gone through too much, had come too far to let that happen to me. I had a past I hated being reminded of; I wanted at least a future to look forward to. And there was another thing I was absolutely sure about: I wouldn’t force anyone to stay with me by threatening him with suicide. I’d been pitied by everyone around me for years, I didn’t want Zach to be with me out of pity or duty.