Total pages in book: 54
Estimated words: 51525 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 258(@200wpm)___ 206(@250wpm)___ 172(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 51525 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 258(@200wpm)___ 206(@250wpm)___ 172(@300wpm)
Shel was the one who finally convinced me it was okay to let go, and I’m so glad she did. The walls that were once a deep blue are now a cream color that looks great with the new lighter furniture. I got rid of the white duvet we had and chose floral bedding that has blues, pinks, greens, and yellows. I replaced our dark wood bed with a lighter wood that has a high fabric headboard and metal grommets nailed along the edge. The side tables match the bed, with the same color metal as the grommets on the handles.
I only have one picture on the wall, and it’s one of Ly’s newborn photo in sepia with a white frame. That photo is hung above my dresser, which is catty-corner to the sliding door that leads to the back deck. I spent way too much money on luxury blinds to cover the doors, but they look amazing and were worth every penny, especially in the summer, when it’s light most of the time.
I walk back across the room, turn out the overhead light, and then grab a T-shirt from my dresser, thinking about Denver as I change. I need to apologize to him for the way I acted. I don’t know if I’m ready for what he wants, but I know I need him in my life, and Ly needs him in hers. Once I’m sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed with the blankets pulled up over my lap, I pick up my cell and press Call on Denver’s number. It rings twice before I’m sent to voice mail, and I hang up without leaving him a message.
Resting my phone in my lap, I close my eyes as hot tears start to blur my vision. In the four years Denver has been back in my life, he’s never ignored my calls, and it kills me a little that he did it now, even though I know I deserve it. Having no other choice, I rest my cell on my bedside table, shut off the lamp, and lie down. I don’t fall asleep until the sun starts to peek through the closed blinds, and then I only sleep for about an hour before Ly comes into my room to wake me up.
_______________
Taking a large gulp from my third cup of coffee, I watch Ly, who is on her knees in front of the coffee table, eating a bowl of colorful, sugary cereal while staring at her iPad. The YouTube channel she’s watching is one of her favorites. The guy is a total goof, always dancing and running around some kids’ play center, checking out toys and showing how things work. He must be in his early thirties and is always dressed the same, with an orange and blue hat, glasses, suspenders, and gray pants he tucks into his shoes that are also orange and blue. Watching him, I have to say, even as old as I am, I’m captivated by how entertaining he is.
“Mommy.” Ly’s voice pulls my attention to her, and I brace when I see the look in her eyes. “Where’s Denver?”
Crap, I should have known that question was coming. Denver has never canceled on her for any reason, and I’m guessing if that ever did happen, he’d call to talk to her or stop by when he was able to do so.
“Like I told you yesterday, baby, he’s working.”
Her head tips to the side and her eyes study me for a long time, so long I fight the urge to squirm or look away from her. “Can I call him?”
“Of course,” I whisper, feeling my throat tighten with anxiety as I pick up my cell. Once I dial Denver’s number, I hand her the phone then watch her face fall when he doesn’t answer. With my nails digging into my palms, I listen to her leave him a message telling him she misses him.
“He didn’t answer,” she tells me, handing me back the phone, and I end the call.
“He’ll call you back.” I hope it’s not a lie. I hope that, for Ly’s sake, the issues between us don’t seep over into his relationship with her. I pull her onto my lap and kiss the top of her head. “How about we get dressed and head to the library for story time?” I suggest. “We can also return all your books and check out some new ones while we’re there.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.” I give her a tight squeeze before placing her on her feet, murmuring, “Turn off your iPad and take your bowl to the kitchen, honey.”
With a nod, she does as I asked, and then I take her upstairs to dress before getting myself ready while she sits on my bed watching me.
My phone chimes, letting me know I have a message as I’m buckling Ly in her car seat, so I pull it out of my back pocket and check the screen. When I see the message from Denver, my chest actually aches.