Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 90503 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 453(@200wpm)___ 362(@250wpm)___ 302(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90503 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 453(@200wpm)___ 362(@250wpm)___ 302(@300wpm)
Thanks for reaching out. I don’t think it will betray my brother’s confidence to let you know that he is here in Boston, he saw the surgeon this morning, and the appointment went well. He hasn’t told me of his final decision regarding treatment yet, but I assure you, my family is doing everything possible to convince him to listen to the surgeon’s advice.
However, as you know, Dallas is his own man.
I hope that you and my brother can mend your friendship. I know you are very special to him.
Don’t give up.
Sincerely,
Finn Shepherd
I read through it three times. Don’t give up. Why would he say that? What did he know? Had Dallas said something about me? I probably would have continued to obsess over it, but I was working the desk at the studio and evenings were always busy. At least I knew for sure that he’d met with the surgeon and was considering the operation. I hoped things were going well enough within the family that Dallas would listen to them, but it wasn’t clear from Finn’s letter whether that was the case.
Later that evening, I had dinner with Stella and told her what had happened. I was only slightly less emotional than I had been at Emme and Nate’s house the night before, but I at least managed to get through the story without getting in her lap.
“I feel so stupid,” I said, squeezing my eyes shut. “How could I have fallen for him again?”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Maren. We can’t control our feelings.”
“I know, but …” I set my fork down and covered my face with my hands. “I feel like I put myself right back where I was at eighteen. Like I’ve learned nothing. Like I’m doomed. God, I feel so stupid for trusting him. For trusting anyone that much.”
“Stop.” She reached out and tugged at one wrist. “It doesn’t do any good to blame yourself for the actions of someone else. Yes, you trusted him, and he hurt you. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t trust again, Maren. It means you have a big heart.”
“Maybe.”
She smiled. “Listen, I know Emme was the one we always teased about falling in love easily, but it can happen to anyone. Don’t be ashamed of having those feelings.”
“Okay. I’ll try.” But deep down, I vowed I would never put myself in this position again. I would be more careful, more guarded. If men could turn off their feelings to protect themselves like Nate said, then I could, too.
And no matter what Finn Shepherd said, I had to give up on Dallas.
He’d given me no choice.
Seventeen
Dallas
In the biggest dick move ever, I left Finn’s house Wednesday morning without even saying goodbye to Bree and the kids. Finn was already gone by the time I came downstairs, and there was no note or anything, no text or email from him, which I took as a sign that he didn’t really care whether I left or not.
I went to the airport, turned in my rental car, and booked a flight to Portland. While I waited for departure, I felt guilty enough to send a message to Bree.
Hey, I felt like I needed to go home for a while. I left early, before you guys were awake. Please say goodbye to the kids for me. Thanks for everything.
I hit send, and then a minute later sent another text.
I’m sorry.
Then I turned off my phone and shoved it in my bag. The calls from my mother would start soon, no doubt, and Finn would be on my ass, too.
I didn’t look at it again until I was sitting at the gate in Denver. As expected, I had missed several calls from both my mother and Finn. He’d also sent a text.
Bree said you left without saying goodbye.
I braced myself for the lecture. Instead, I got an apology.
I’m really sorry about what I said this morning. I shouldn’t have pushed you. It’s very frustrating for me to be in this position. I want to save your life, but you don’t necessarily want it to be saved. I wish I could convince you that you’ve got a lot to live for, and that needing help doesn’t make you less of a man. It takes courage to face something like this, and to admit you can’t do it alone. We’re your family, and we love you. We’re here for you, no matter what you decide.
There was one more message.
Also, Mom is going nuts wondering what is going on. Do you want me to explain it to her? I promise to do it without criticizing your need to take a little time and think things over on your own. That is your right, and I will make sure she and Dad understand that. And respect it.
In reply, I simply said, Yes. Thank you.