Total pages in book: 40
Estimated words: 37344 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 187(@200wpm)___ 149(@250wpm)___ 124(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 37344 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 187(@200wpm)___ 149(@250wpm)___ 124(@300wpm)
“In all the time I’ve known you, you have been single-minded about your job, about building your career,” he says. “Frankly, even though I’m proud as hell of you, I’m surprised you went out with him in the first place.”
“Honestly? I’m surprised I did too.”
“Why did you?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know. It’s just… There's something about him that I’m just drawn to. I like being around him, and when I’m not, I want to be,” I admit. “I don’t understand it. I mean, nobody has ever had this kind of an impact on me before. As much as I want to ignore him and concentrate on my job, I can’t. I’m always thinking about him.”
“Sounds like you’ve got quite the crush.”
“I do. But… I feel like that’s oversimplifying my feelings. It’s more than a crush,” I tell him. “We have this… connection. I don’t get it, but I feel it. And I know he does too. At least, I’m pretty sure he does.”
“Oh, trust me, he does.”
“How do you know?”
“The flowers, the attention he lavishes on you, the fact that he respects you enough to stop and not pressure you when you suddenly turn into Frigid Frida on him,” he says. “To me, that sounds like a good man with a real connection to you. And that’s not somebody who, in my opinion, should be taken for granted. Good men who are respectful like that seem to be an endangered species, my dear.”
“I know. It’s just…”
My words taper off and I shake my head, not even sure where my thoughts were going. Everything in my head is a jumbled mess of thought and emotion, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to pull it into any sort of coherency.
“Did you want to sleep with him last night?” Ian asks.
“I did.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
“I think because I let my brother get into my head.”
When he gives me a curious look, I explain the conversation I had with Eric when he stopped by the office yesterday. As he listens, a frown crosses Ian’s face.
“What is it?” I ask when I finish.
“Look, I’m not going to sit here and say I know Ben on any sort of real level. We’ve had a few conversations over the years—”
“You have?” I ask, curious about this new information.
He nods. “I interviewed him a couple of times back when he was in college. No big deal or anything, but I liked his game and thought, even back then, he had the potential to be one of those transcendent-type players.”
“I had no idea.”
“Like I said, it was just a couple of interviews some years back. But my impression of him, even back then, was that he wasn’t anything like what your brother described,” he says. “I know a lot of athletes are like that—a woman in every city and all that. And I also know it’s easy to lump them all in together. But my impression of Ben Givens is that he’s not like most players. And I’ve certainly never heard a whiff of that sort of impropriety about him.”
I shake my head. “You’ve been in this game a lot longer than I have, but I’ve never heard anything like that either. I mean, it’s not like he’s getting sued by dozens of his former massage therapists or anything.”
“Right. So, when he tells you he doesn't date, I tend to believe him. He’s all about ball. Lives, breathes, eats, and sleeps it,” he says. “You two are a lot alike that way. You’re the same way with this job. It's all-consuming for you.”
“That’s true.”
“Honestly, I’ve never even seen him with a woman or heard about him dating anybody,” he continues. “I don’t think anybody has because rumors that he’s gay have been running around for a while now.”
“I haven’t heard any rumors like that.”
“That’s the quiet part that people don’t say out loud. But if you listen close enough, you’ll hear the whispers,” Ian tells me.
“Well, I can tell you with certainty that man is not gay,” I say with a blush.
“That’s also how I know that you mean something to him. That he thinks you’re special.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because he’s never not locked in. Ball is all-consuming for the guy, and he tends to shut everything around him out, including personal relationships,” he explains. “The fact that he's engaging with you on such a personal level—it speaks volumes, kid.”
I sit back in my chair and think about what Ian just said, feeling my heart skip a beat or twelve as I do. It’s a perspective I haven’t considered. It’s one I haven’t even seen in this tangled gnarl of emotions inside of me.
The only thing that’s clear to me right now is that Ben makes me feel a way I’ve never felt before. In addition to all the physical things, he makes me feel special. Respected. He makes me feel like he cares about me.