Total pages in book: 65
Estimated words: 65041 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 325(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65041 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 325(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
Except I kept seeing her everywhere.
There was no escaping her memory. It was engraved in the walls—she was in every corner, every crevice. Her presence was everywhere and all at once. From the floor to the ceiling to the decorations to the happiness she brought into our lives with just a smile or a few words of reassurance. What I’d give to tell her I loved her just one last time and feel like her little boy.
“I’m so sorry, Jace. Please know—”
I nodded, cutting off my father’s secretary who helped him run the ranch in our town of Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Everyone knew who we were, and a line of people waited around our house to give their condolences, but all I wanted was to slam the door right in their faces.
Before I knew what I was doing, I started drinking, thinking it would make it easier on me. It didn’t. If anything, it made it harder. The moment I realized I was drinking myself into an utter blackout rage, I grabbed the bottle of Jack and left my childhood home through the kitchen door.
Never once looking back.
I was a grenade ready to fucking explode if I didn’t get the hell out of there, which was the last thing anybody needed.
Including me.
Cove
“Do you need another hug, Haven?”
My best friend shook her head with her eyes still glued to the floor in her living room.
I hated that this was happening, and I couldn’t do anything for her and her family. What I really hated was that I didn’t understand why it was happening to them in the first place. This was all so confusing, and nobody would explain it to me.
Why do people have to die?
Mrs. Beckham was the best, and I missed her so much already. She always made me feel like I was part of their family, and now I was scared I wouldn’t have one anymore. My parents didn’t want me. They were never around. I always had a nanny, but they changed all the time.
Maybe it was me? Was I unlovable? Was something wrong with me?
Haven and I became best friends four years ago in preschool. Since then, Mrs. Beckham was the only mom I’d ever known. Now she was gone forever, and all I wanted was for someone to tell me why she had to die.
Was she in heaven? Would I ever see her again?
Her brothers were quiet, and her dad was really sad. Today was the first time I’d seen their daddy cry, and it hurt my heart so much. It felt like it was breaking inside me, and I hated not being able to do anything about it.
I only felt a little better today when I saw Jace walk into the church. He wore his white Navy uniform and looked like Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid. Except he wasn’t smiling like he usually was. His smiles were always my favorite thing about him.
He wasn’t around a lot, but every time he was, my stomach would bubble, and my heart would go super fast. He was the best big brother to Haven, and when he was in town, he’d hang out with us. Of course, I’d pretend it wasn’t a big deal, but it was a huge one.
Haven didn’t know I liked her brother. I thought my crush would just go away, but every time I saw him, it only made my feelings worse. I felt like the worst best friend on the planet for keeping this secret from her. We always told each other everything. I was scared she’d be mad at me for having a crush on him. Best friends weren’t supposed to like each other’s brothers.
Those were the rules, right?
Since I was trying to make Jace feel better, I asked my nanny if she’d help me make his favorite red velvet cake. I brought it over for the family, but I saved the last piece for him.
When I saw him leave through the kitchen door, I couldn’t help myself.
“Haven, I’ll be right back, okay?”
She nodded, still not looking at me.
I hurried toward my backpack and grabbed the piece of cake I saved for him. I also took my favorite stuffed animal with me—a bunny I won at the arcade when I was six. It always made me feel better when I missed my parents and felt alone at night.
Before he was out of sight, I quickly rushed out the kitchen door behind him, worried I wouldn’t be able to find him. I was lucky to catch him walking into the woods at the last second. It was almost dark out. I wasn’t supposed to go outside by myself when the sun went down, but since I’d be with him, and he was grown up, I didn’t think I’d get in trouble.
I followed him without making a peep until he stopped in front of what looked like a river deep in the woods behind their house. I never knew it was even back there. It was so pretty and quiet. It reminded me of my River and Streams book, one of my favorites to read to myself.