Total pages in book: 147
Estimated words: 137135 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 686(@200wpm)___ 549(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 137135 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 686(@200wpm)___ 549(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
I hold my hand out to her so she can see the tiny dots all over my palm and fingers. “But I unconsciously reached out and caught it with my hand in midair instead of letting it hit the ground and then picking it back up. Damn reflexes.”
She pulls my hand across the table to her side so she can look closely at my sore skin, tilting it this way and that to use the overhead light to see better. “I swear to God, Sienna, you belong in a damn episode of Loony Toons sometimes. That’s straight up Wile E. Coyote shit right there.”
I sigh and nod, because she’s definitely not wrong. “Truth. So anyway, there I am, the cactus in my hand like a giant sandspur from hell, but I refuse to let it go. I’ve now shed blood and sweat for it, but no tears. There’s no crying in dumpster diving.”
She looks at me sternly, so I continue on.
“And the man I was arguing with pops his head over the edge and tells me to leave my prickly child behind while he helps me out of there. But fuck that. No plant left behind!” I call out dramatically, lifting my fist into the air, and Vi just shakes her head at me. “And this guy just… gives in. He doesn’t call me stupid or any other mean name. He doesn’t try to convince me otherwise by mansplaining anything. He’s just like, ‘all right, lady. Let’s get you and your new hand piercings out of there.’”
“He said that?” she asks with a smile.
“Nah, but that’s the vibe he was giving off. Like he was humoring me and just wanted me gone. The path of least resistance. So he didn’t bother arguing with me anymore. Probably so he could finish his work and go home. It was super late.” I shrug.
She narrows her eyes at me and purses her lips, like she’s not quite convinced that’s the reason he was so nice about the whole situation, but I’m too excited to tell her the next part to go off on a tangent with her to figure it out.
“So then he jumps in like some kind of Marvel character, doing the superhero landing and everything!”
Her narrowed eyes are no more. They are wide with wonder. “Down on one knee, the other leg stretched out a little, bracing with one hand on the ground?” Her voice is even a little breathy.
I nod slowly like Jack Nicholson with the crazy eyes in Anger Management. “Exactly! And he had body karate, girl. Seriously. He looked like he could be standing there right along with the Avengers.”
“Holy shit, we need to tell Seth about this guy,” she inserts, talking about one of the other co-owners of Club Alias. He’s a goofball and is fluent in movie quotes and pop culture references, Marvel’s Deadpool being his favorite. Such a cute, nerdy, and fun-loving guy, you’d never guess he’s actually jacked as hell under those dark clothes and used to be quite the sadist before he fell in love with a virgin and no longer felt the urge to cause pain for his own pleasure.
Lucky Twyla.
The exact opposite of my marriage.
I shake myself out of my envy and keep going with my adventure, but only after I give her every single detail I can about the way this man looked. I paint a clear picture, and with her author’s mind so similar to mine, I know she can see him inside her head as if he were standing right next to us. “So anyway, he does the landing, then he does what any superhero would do. He saves the baby first.” I let out a dreamy sigh, then explain how he got the cactus up on the ledge of the dumpster before he helped me out of there. “The next thing I know, I’m sitting on his lap. His lap, Vi! I don’t even know what happened. It’s like he put his hands on me and I blacked out for a second, and when I came to, I was snuggled up to his big body while he was checking out my hand.”
She just stares at me a second, then wiggles in her seat a little. “Yep, just checked. I’ve got lady-wood.”
I snort. “Right? Like, holy hell! And then he went and got some first aid stuff out of his car and fixed me up.”
Her head pulls back in surprise. “Like, right out of his car?”
I nod. “Tweezers and everything. Wrapped me right up and sent me home with doctor’s orders to leave on the bandage until I woke up.”
“Wow.” She purses her lips and nods along with me. “Impressive. Who was this guy?”
I shrug and shake my head. “I have no clue. Just an employee. So that’s why I’ve been calling him Dumpster Daddy in my head ever since.”