Total pages in book: 147
Estimated words: 137176 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 686(@200wpm)___ 549(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 137176 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 686(@200wpm)___ 549(@250wpm)___ 457(@300wpm)
The previous night had been my third night where I hadn’t even bothered to tie one on and let someone fuck me in the hopes of getting back to my dream world. In fact, I had physically cringed when any man had tried to touch me, and any drinks a guy had bought me in the hopes of buying my compliance had remained untouched. I would have given anything to say it was because my mind was preoccupied by the physical danger I was in from Cass, but my bullshit meter had an annoying way of working when there was no alcohol to silence it.
The reality was that I was worried about Cass, but not because of any physical harm he might be looking to inflict upon me.
No amount of alcohol could wash away the taste of his kiss. I didn’t want just any guy holding me in place while he took control of my body. It was Cass’s weight pinning me against the trunk of his car that still made my dick throb with need a week after it had happened. My neck had continued to tingle where he’d grabbed me just before his mouth had covered mine. His heat, his strength, his beauty—everything about Cass had consumed my senses.
The most sickening part of every moment after Cass and I had kissed was the fact that any man who’d touched me from that night on had made my stomach cramp with more than too much liquor in its system. I hadn’t made it to my quiet place those first few nights, no matter how many guys had shoved their dicks inside of me or how many times I’d demanded to be fucked harder, faster, deeper. I’d never found physical satisfaction with any of the men I’d been with. Not a single one. That wasn’t what the guys had been for. They’d been to help me reach those too-short moments of peace. After Cass had kissed me and I hadn’t found that peace with any of the guys at Tank’s, it had gotten so much worse.
While I’d been sobering up at the bar or stumbling to my room after Tank had refused to return my car keys to me, there was only one thing I felt. This god-awful, unbelievable level of guilt.
Guilt.
I might not have exactly been proud of the things I did at Tank’s in the past, but I’d never felt guilty about any of it. So to feel that powerful emotion every night from the moment Cass had kissed me was slowly eating away at me.
I owed the man nothing.
Less than nothing, if there was such a thing.
Yet even now, my stomach ached as shame ate away at my insides. It felt like… like being with all those guys the first few nights after Cass had kissed me had been wrong. Not because of the recklessness of my behavior but because every dick inside me, every hand holding me in place, every dirty word spoken in my ear had made it feel like I’d been giving something away that belonged to someone else.
In simple terms, I felt like I’d cheated on Cass.
That was when I’d switched from alcohol to club soda at Tank’s before going home. I hadn’t let any man touch me. I hadn’t wanted any man to touch me.
Well, that wasn’t quite the truth.
There was one man…
“Where the fuck are those guys?” I heard Boone snap. His anger was enough to pull me from my thoughts of Cass. I realized we’d just driven through the actress’s driveway gate. I immediately saw the same thing Boone had.
No black SUV.
No guards.
The men we’d been sent to relieve had left their post early. Protocol stated that the client was never left without at least one Targes agent standing guard.
“Fucking mercenary wannabes,” Boone said angrily.
Before my brother had even gotten his business fully off the ground, it had gotten more attention than he’d expected. The fact that Targes supplied protection to clients who traveled all around the world had added to the problem. My brother just hadn’t been ready for such quick growth. He still wasn’t. So he was temporarily using contract help—guys who met the minimum qualifications for the job but weren’t full-time employees and probably never would be. They were guys who thought executive protection in LA meant being part of the glitz and glamour of movie premieres, playing the part of big, badass bodyguard to beautiful actresses and supermodels and rubbing elbows with the biggest names in Hollywood. They were also guys who didn’t care about things like rules and protocols.
“Shit,” I said the second the SUV came to an abrupt stop at the front door.
It was wide open.
“Going around back,” Boone said as he pulled his gun from his shoulder holster. I did the same but went for the front door. My police training kicked in as I began clearing the rooms one by one. Like so many of the houses in the neighborhood, this one was built into the hill. From the front it appeared to be one level but once inside it turned into a two-story. The lower level consisted of an assortment of rooms including a gym, sauna, and outdoor pool. Since I knew Boone would cover that floor as he entered the house from the back, I continued clearing rooms on the main level. As badly as I wanted to reach the young woman’s bedroom, I knew better than to rush my search.