Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 124320 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 622(@200wpm)___ 497(@250wpm)___ 414(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 124320 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 622(@200wpm)___ 497(@250wpm)___ 414(@300wpm)
“Aiko and I have been having trouble for a long time.”
“Oh, Ezra, don’t be that cliché. What else? She just doesn’t understand you? Do you also have some etchings inside you’d like to show me?”
“She actually understands me very well,” he replies, his voice unamused but not annoyed. “It was one of the things that first drew me to her—how we got each other. I hadn’t really had that with another girl since you.” His laugh comes short and self-deprecating. “I mean, that and the fact that she was gorgeous. That didn’t hurt either.”
Jealousy I have no right to burns a hole in my belly.
“I don’t know if . . .” He grips the back of his neck. “I’ve never said this out loud, but I don’t know that we would have lasted very long if she hadn’t gotten pregnant. Had it not been for Noah.”
He glances over his shoulder, and his eyes are sad. “We tried, Kimba. I’ve tried. We’ve been in counseling the last couple of years. It hasn’t gotten much better. She even wanted to try an open relationship, which I shot down.”
“Oh, wow.” I’ve never been a possessive chick, but I know I couldn’t share Ezra. “You’re still with her, though, right? It’s still cheating for us to…it’s still not right.”
“She’s in Tanzania sleeping with someone else as we speak, with my blessing.”
“I don’t…” I frown and press my palm to my forehead. “I don’t understand.”
“We broke up before she left, but didn’t want to ruin Noah’s birthday, especially with her leaving so soon. We both need to be here to help him process it once we tell him.”
I want to look away, to break the contact between our eyes, but this moment is quicksand, holding me immobile and pulling me under. “What do you want?”
“You know what I want.”
My body comes to life at his words, under the intensity of his stare and the promise of satisfaction for us both. He doesn’t say any more for a moment and then clears his throat, goes on. “Mona’s trying to hook you up with Barry.”
“And?” I ask, watching to see if his impassive expression tells me more than he has.
“Don’t.”
Just one word. Downright polite, but when he lifts his lashes, his eyes are black-blue, midnight swimming in the deepest ocean.
“I overheard you tell Mona you like to fuck,” he says, trapping the fullness of his bottom lip between his teeth. “So do I. If you’re in the market for someone, I’d like it to be me.”
The seductive offer, the dark rasp of his voice caressing the word "fuck" snatches my breath. I’m not sure which is more dangerous. Ezra taken or Ezra for the taking. Rarely have any of my sexual relationships been complicated. It was a release, a transaction of pleasure between two consenting adults who were free to transact with whomever they pleased.
I already know Ezra would be a different story.
“Ez—”
“I don’t want to see you with him.”
“I know you’ve been off the market,” I say dryly. “But that’s not exactly how a man talks when all he wants to do is to fuck.”
“What do you want me to say? That I don’t feel anything for you? You know that’s a lie. Whatever was between us when we were young never got the chance to become…more. But it’s still there, and it could never be nothing.”
The words resonate with truth, and all I can do is agree. I felt it at the funeral. I felt it as soon as I saw him again. God knows I felt it when he kissed me.
“You don’t have to worry. I was gonna let Barry down easy when he calls.”
“Good,” he says, satisfaction in his narrowed eyes. “Do that.”
I look down at my hands. “I don’t want Barry.”
“Do you want me?”
It’s a bold question. Everything about this conversation is bold, unabashed, bare.
“Yes.” I shake my head before he can pounce on my admission. “But I’m not sure this is the best thing right now for either of us.”
“Let me decide what’s best for me.”
“You’re just getting out of a long-term relationship. I’m starting a new campaign.” Fingers crossed.
Not to mention all I’m going through with my health. I won’t mention it, but it’s yet another reason why I don’t want emotional attachments right now. And he’s right. Between Ezra and me, it could never not be emotional.
I scoot to the edge of the trampoline, still inside the net, but with my legs hanging over the side. I’m poised to leave but can’t make myself go. He tenses and doesn’t speak.
”The attraction between us…” I scrub my hands over my face. “Well, I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t strong.”
He angles a look at me that is at once heated and sly. “You must admit we both kiss a lot better than we did at thirteen.”