Total pages in book: 176
Estimated words: 164533 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 823(@200wpm)___ 658(@250wpm)___ 548(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164533 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 823(@200wpm)___ 658(@250wpm)___ 548(@300wpm)
“Okay,” I said, trying not glower at the idea of Charli and Jonathan having a heart to heart about their love lives.
“So,” she continued, inhaling deeply as though drawing courage from someplace deep inside her, her eyes still intent on mine. “I thought maybe you and I could, well … I thought since we’re exes who are on good terms, we could try something similar.”
For a second, my brain stop-started. Then, when I realised what she was asking of me, I found myself battling between two intense reactions. One part of me wanted to drag her across the desk and do obscene things to her without a care that anyone could walk right into my office. The other part was disappointed she didn’t want something more than friends with benefits. I quickly quashed the feeling, reminding myself she was in a transitional phase of her life. If Charli was asking strictly for sex, then that was clearly all she was ready for.
“Charli,” I breathed, almost in warning, and she blinked like my tone had startled her. This was agony. I wanted to give her everything she needed, but I refused to take advantage, not when she was working through trauma.
“I just thought that since I’m still very attracted to you, and I feel like maybe you might still be a little bit attracted to me. Well, it would be a mutually beneficial thing.”
At this, I let out a low, derisive laugh. If only she knew. There was no “might” about it, and “a little bit attracted” didn’t cut it. Not even close. I desired her in a way that felt like it might scare her if I showed the true intensity of my feelings. Charli wasn’t ready for that, and I refused to set her back when she was already making such forward progress in her life.
I could, however, be of help. I could put my own needs aside and give to her without ever taking.
When I still didn’t speak, too busy trying to wrangle the beast that wanted to break free and ravish her, Charli bit her lip again. “Rhys, please say something. I’m kind of flailing over here.”
Just like that, I rose from my chair. Less than a second later, I knelt before her and pulled her chair towards me so we faced each other. She gasped, her hazel eyes widening at the move.
“So, let me get this straight,” I began, my voice a low rasp as I lifted my head to meet her gaze. “You want me to help you work through the trauma you have with being touched?”
Silently, she nodded, her breaths quickening.
“Use me, then,” I uttered roughly, hands gripping the edge of her seat. Her mouth fell open at my words.
“R-rhys,” she stammered, her chest rising and falling shakily. “I won’t use you.”
I tilted my head, my eyes gliding down her nose to her lips and chin then to her chest before rising back up. “Not even if I want you to?”
Red tinged her cheeks and neck. She ignored my question when she said, “We’d need to discuss the rules. If we’re going to be friends with benefits—"
“Fuck friends with benefits,” I growled. “We’re not doing that.” Because it would be a lie. She might be able to see me as only a friend, but I had feelings for her that far surpassed friendship. She didn’t need to know about that, though. “Use me in whatever way you need. Whatever might help you process what you need to process, I’m in. And when you’ve gone through it all and need to move on, you can drop me, and I’ll let you go. For however long or however much you need, I’m yours to use how you see fit.”
It was almost painful to say, but if this was all I ever had with her, I’d take it, even if my heart got crushed in the process. I’d let a herd of cattle stomp all over it for the chance of a single night with her. Hell, I’d do it in exchange for a solitary hour.
“That doesn’t sound very fair,” she breathed as I began to lean forward, my eyes on the pearlescent buttons of her pale pink shirt.
“I’ll decide what’s fair. Want to start now?”
I heard her gasp before she whispered, “Okay.”
My eyes flicked up from where I still knelt before her, hovering but not touching.
“Can I put my mouth on you?”
“Yes. Please.”
A dark, satisfied smile curved my lips as I began to flick open her shirt buttons. “If you need me to stop at any point say it, and I will,” I rasped. A few buttons more and her shirt was wide open. She watched as I pushed it apart from my position below her. Our eyes connected, and a bolt of affection shot through me. This felt right. It felt like coming home after a long, long time at sea. I was dangerously obsessed with Charli. Always had been. Her eyes and face, her body and voice were hardwired into my very being. As soon as she entered a room, my body responded. I wanted her, had never stopped.