Total pages in book: 158
Estimated words: 145803 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 729(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 486(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145803 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 729(@200wpm)___ 583(@250wpm)___ 486(@300wpm)
Vienna rubbed at her eyebrow again. “Those days are so vague to me. I remember so many things with Mitzi and even her friends. Playing board games, cards, learning to knit or crochet. Their cats. I really loved their cats. But I can’t recall Avril. That really bothers me. I should be able to when I remember details so clearly.”
“Trauma is a funny thing,” Shabina said. “I have periods of time completely gone from my memory. Not during the time I was with my captors, but after, when I was back home with my parents. I would be talking to them and suddenly realize I didn’t have a clue what we were talking about.”
Zahra nodded in agreement. “I think it can be normal to close the door, especially when you’re a young child, on a very frightening event or illness you don’t understand.”
Harlow sighed. “I’m sorry to have to point this out to you, Vienna, but you’re a nurse. You know the cancer could have spread to Avril’s brain. Your mother sounds as if she was grieving and sometimes even a little out of her mind. Mitzi might not have recognized the signs. She wouldn’t have known to protect a child from the things Avril would say or do that seemed quite reasonable to her.”
Vienna knew there was every possibility Harlow had hit on the truth. Depending on where the tumors were, Avril could have been suffering all kinds of delusions.
“You know I’ve never once had a problem with self-confidence,” she confided to her friends. “I’ve never cared one way or the other whether I was in a relationship with someone until I met Zale. I fell pretty hard for him. When he left and didn’t contact me, I was far more devastated than I thought possible. I accepted it, because I’m not the kind of woman to chase after a man, and I wasn’t about to repeat the experience even after I met him again in Vegas.”
“But you did repeat the experience after all,” Harlow pointed out.
Vienna nodded. “We talked and he explained what happened, and I believe him. He had planned to contact me after his mission. He had to work out how he was going to keep me safe. Unlike Sam, he will still be working.”
“And that’s okay with you?” Zahra asked.
“He’ll be gone for weeks or possibly months with no communication,” Shabina said.
“I’m aware of that. It’s not like I go out on dates or have anyone as it is now,” Vienna said. “I’ll worry about him. I can’t help that, but he’s my choice. I’ve never been with anyone else who interests me the way he does. He makes me laugh. He loves the outdoors the way I do. He listens to me when I give my opinion on any subject and actually hears what I say and doesn’t treat me like I’m not quite bright because of the way I look. I love being with him.”
“You’re certain he was coming to you after this assignment?” Raine asked.
Vienna nodded. “Yes. It took quite a bit of convincing. I didn’t believe him at first, but he managed to convince me that he had been trying to find a way to make it all work. He told me quite a bit about his past. We talked for hours. I didn’t just fall into his arms, although to be honest, I wanted to. I made it clear it wasn’t going to happen. I was honest with him and told him I had been really hurt and didn’t want to go through that again. I told him there was an entire hotel full of women who would be willing and to find one of them.”
“Ouch,” Zahra said. “That must have hurt you even to suggest that.”
“It did. I know it would have killed me to see him with another woman, but I couldn’t have gone there again with him and have him leave me like he did. I had to really think a long time before I made the decision to start all over again with him. He made it clear he wanted to make it a permanent relationship.”
She had braided her hair and wound the thick braid up on top of her head for the kayaking trip, but out of habit, she pushed at the sides as if she could shove hair behind her ears. “I still hear Avril’s voice warning me that men say whatever a woman wants to hear in order to get their way, but that they’re lying. I wanted him to tell me he wanted to be with me permanently, but then I’d get squirrelly on him, thinking he’s just saying that to appease me. It’s my issue and I’ve been honest with him about it. I’m fortunate in that he’s extremely patient with me.”