Total pages in book: 67
Estimated words: 68576 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 343(@200wpm)___ 274(@250wpm)___ 229(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 68576 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 343(@200wpm)___ 274(@250wpm)___ 229(@300wpm)
It warmed my heart to have him in my arms.
It also hurt it.
Two years.
I’d missed two years of his life.
He was twenty-five months old.
His birthday was just last month.
I’d missed his second birthday by mere days.
Which only made me angrier in the grand scheme of things.
I mean, how fucking hard was it to tell your baby daddy that he was, in fact, a baby daddy?
Knowing that line of thought would just lead me down a dark path that I didn’t want to be on, I said, “Let’s go to the bakery and see Miss Peppa.”
The nurse walked with me out of the hospital, giving me his medications with a smile once I reached the truck I’d pulled around.
“Don’t hesitate to call if you have any questions,” she suggested. “But also, Dr. Howser is fantastic with the kids. He’ll be able to help you as well anytime. Just call his on-call service if it’s after hours.”
Handing me the paperwork, she left me to strap my boy into his car seat, which gave me a flashback of PTSD.
I was obviously not the only one, because when I started to put him into the seat, he started to freak the fuck out.
My stomach knotted.
And in the end, I ended up breaking the law and putting him in the front seat with me in his car seat.
He was sitting facing forward, too.
It’d taken me fifteen minutes to figure out how to turn the passenger side air bag off.
His eyes were wide and taking everything in as we pulled out into traffic.
My heart was in my throat.
Obviously, I’d driven kids around a lot before.
Nieces. Nephews. Hell, friends’ kids.
But something was different about driving your own.
Was this what it would’ve been like had I come home from the hospital with him?
Would I be with Emory right now had she told me?
What would’ve happened to my life had I gotten to spend the last two years with Forest from the moment he was born?
All those questions were useless to ask, though, because there would be no answers.
I would never know how it would feel.
But I did now.
I had him, and I would fight to keep him.
It would take an act of God to get him away from me.
Emory was about to find out what it was like to fight the devil, because I would not stop.
“Hey, bud.” I pointed at the police car. “That’s what I do. Daddy.” I pointed at myself. “I’m a police officer.”
“Peas offer?” he asked, turning his eyes to me.
I nodded, turning my gaze back to the road. “That’s what I do. I’m a police officer.”
He opened and closed his fists, which I watched him do five times.
My heart kind of stalled there in my chest for a few moments as I looked down at my own hand, clenching and unclenching eight times.
Shit.
Had I passed that on to him?
My worries were everywhere as I drove the entire way to Pie Hard contemplating what else I’d shared with him through my genes.
Would he sleepwalk?
Was that even something that could be passed down through genetics?
I parked the truck in the front and was unsurprised when it caught the attention of Maven and Pepper.
Both women beamed as I got out of the truck.
I got Forest out of his seat and walked with him into the shop.
The moment we crossed the threshold, he said, “Down!”
I put him down and he all but ran, putting his face onto the glass.
Both women behind the counter laughed.
His face lifted at the sound, and his eyes snagged on Pepper.
“Peppa!” he cried out exuberantly.
My heart once again stalled in my chest as he all but sprinted around the display cases toward Pepper.
Fuck.
How had I misjudged her so badly?
Generally, I would trust a child’s intuition over an adult’s.
And he liked Pepper from the moment he’d awoken and seen her.
“Well, hello there, Forest.” Pepper snagged my boy and pulled him up into her arms. “Those are some nice sandals you have.”
Forest lifted his foot to examine his sandals. “Peas offer.”
He then pointed at me.
“Did your daddy buy those?” Pepper asked, turning him to face me.
“Yes,” he replied. “Peas offer.”
“Police officer?” Pepper asked. “Yeah, he’s a police officer. He’s also your daddy.”
My stomach turned at her words.
Fuck me, but I was someone’s father.
Worry once again started to churn in my gut.
Could I be a good father?
Could I…?
“Daddy.”
That word coming out of my son’s mouth.
That. Fucking. Word.
I opened my eyes to see him staring at me, his hand outstretched.
I walked to him and gently took that hand. “Yes, bud?”
“Andals.” He lifted his foot.
“Yes, sandals,” I confirmed.
“Cookie.”
I grinned.
There was yet another part of me shining through.
“Let me tell you about the peach scones…”
Eventually Maven joined the conversation.
Her eyes had been bouncing between the three of us, a soft smile on her face, the entire time I’d helped Forest choose some treats.