Total pages in book: 145
Estimated words: 140184 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 701(@200wpm)___ 561(@250wpm)___ 467(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 140184 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 701(@200wpm)___ 561(@250wpm)___ 467(@300wpm)
But some days, I’m not so sure.
Like today.
My wedding day.
As I started drinking and occasionally found myself stewing in anger at him for leaving our reception, it occurred to me exactly when he left.
We had all agreed to the dinner. The only thing that changed was I went out on the dance floor with his father and we had a romantic first dance.
It feels vain to think Jonathan would care. Maybe he doesn’t. It could have just been a coincidence that the girls approached him at the table while we were dancing.
All I know is that sometime in the two and a half minutes Milo and I spent on that dance floor, Jonathan decided to bail on the whole evening.
Now, we’re dancing to a song he requested, a song he says reminds him of me.
A song about lovers who weren’t built to last, but the plea is there: don’t forget me.
I feel really stupid when my eyes well up with a few tears. It’s probably the alcohol and the emotional day I’ve had, but there’s other stuff, too.
Even though I’m happy about most of it, everything is changing.
We bought the house in Massachusetts. We’re moving there with Jet this summer, but Jonathan won’t be going with us.
After our wedding weekend, he’s taking off to China for a couple of weeks with some friends. When he comes back, he’s moving in with his friend Lincoln, and even though it makes sense that he’s moving out now that he’s graduated college, I can’t help wondering if it’s a little bit because of me, too.
Because of the blurry nature of our relationship in the past, I haven’t felt right saying it, but man, I’m gonna miss him.
I sniffle, then nearly die of horror.
Jonathan looks down at me with a frown and misses a step. “Are you crying?”
“No.” It’s a stupid thing to say, easily disproven by the stray tear that full-on betrays me as it goes barreling down my cheek.
Well, that’s embarrassing.
“Hey, what’s this? There’s no crying on your wedding night. Well… there might be, but not while you’re dancing.”
I smile faintly and shake my head. “I had too much to drink. I’m being stupid.”
His grip on me tightens. I know it’s a protective instinct. I also know he would never admit that. “Get in here,” he says, tugging me closer.
I’m too close now for my hands on his shoulder to feel natural, so I slide my arms around his neck, but not as snugly as when I danced with Milo.
“Why are you upset?”
I shake my head. I still don’t love the vulnerability with him, but I’m too raw at the moment to lie. “I’ll just miss you, that’s all.”
He could be understanding. He could be sweet. Instead, he smirks. “I know.”
A burst of laughter shoots out of me, my cheeks still damp from the few tears that slipped out. “You’re the worst.”
He grins at me, keeping me close as we sway. “Nah, I’m just playing with you. I’ll miss you, too, you know.”
“I feel like you’re leaving because of me. It makes me feel terrible, like I came between you guys.”
His smile falls and a mild frown replaces it. “No. Don’t think that. I’m not leaving because of you, I promise. I’m a big boy now, that’s all,” he says lightly, watching my face and smiling faintly. “It’s time to leave daddy’s house and go out on my own.”
I nod, but I don’t feel any better.
“I’ll visit,” he assures me. “I’ll be home for all the holidays. I’ll be there so much, you’ll hardly notice I left.”
I smile faintly. “I don’t think so. You have a presence about you. Your absence will be noticed.”
A few seconds pass, then he says, “Tell you what, why don’t we do one last thing together, just the three of us? You’ll have to do your part and talk my dad into it, but when I get back from China, I’m planning to head up to Canada, spend a week in Banff. My dad’s paying for it, anyway. You guys might as well come.”
“Really?”
He nods. “He prefers the tropical locales to the snowcapped mountains, but you have your ways of persuading him,” he teases.
I smile. “That’s true.”
“It’ll be fun. We always have fun together,” he adds with a wink.
“You mean me and you, or you, me, and your dad?” I ask lightly.
He shrugs. “I’ve had fun both ways.”
I shake my head, heat in my cheeks rising as I recall the night they both played with me on the couch. Not wanting to go any further down that road, I try to playfully shift us away. “You sure you don’t want to bring your beach bimbos?”
He smirks. “Nah, I ditched them outside their hotel. I don’t think they’re too eager to see me again.”
“I was surprised you were able to finish banging two girls and get back in time for dessert.”