Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 88293 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88293 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Tate and I began walking towards the exit and I didn’t miss the way he stuck right next to me and kept glancing my way. He also kept his hand on one of Matty’s shoes as if that would somehow deter me from running off with the kid. Even without the burden of carrying Matty, Tate’s pace was still slow and it took us more than ten minutes to finally reach my car in the parking lot next to the hospital. Tate hadn’t even realized our destination until I fished around my pocket for the keys and unlocked the sedan.
“No,” Tate immediately said as he tried to take Matty from me. I used my body to maneuver Tate back against the car and he instantly ceased his struggles – probably so he wouldn’t wake his son up. With Matty’s body blocking him on one side and my free arm caging him against the car on his other side, Tate began breathing erratically as he realized I was once again in control. It was exactly the position I wanted to be in, but seeing Tate’s fear for his child had me second guessing myself and the reason I’d returned to San Francisco.
Don’t.
I closed my eyes as the soft word penetrated my brain. But for once, I ignored the voice and said, “Get in the car, Tate.”
The betrayal in Tate’s eyes was instant and sharp and bothered me more than I wanted to admit. But I shoved away the urge to gentle my stance and stepped back enough to allow Tate to open the door. He glanced around the empty parking lot and then at me before finally closing his eyes and reaching behind him to grab the door handle. The second he was in the back seat, I handed Matty to him and closed the door. I was glad when Tate didn’t try to get back out as I climbed into the front seat. Instead, he worked to get Matty buckled in and then he sat next to him and drew him protectively against his side.
We didn’t speak as I pulled the car into traffic and to my complete surprise, Tate fell asleep within ten minutes of leaving the hospital. But his arm never left Matty’s small shoulders as he kept him close. I used the time to study Tate with quick glances in the rearview mirror. Although it had only been a little over a week since I’d last seen him, he looked even worse than he had when I’d confronted him that first night. His face had a gauntness to it that made me wonder if he was steadily losing weight and there were dark smudges under his eyes suggesting he hadn’t been sleeping well. Even in sleep, his entire countenance was drawn up tight with tension and I doubted that it was only because of my presence.
Another wave of guilt went through me as I forced my attention back to the road. Tate didn’t stir even after I pulled the car to a stop in front of his apartment building. It wasn’t until I opened the door and gently shook him awake that he reacted like a startled animal and immediately wrapped his arms tighter around Matty and used his body to cover the still sleeping boy. I swallowed hard as the memory of trying to wrap myself up like that washed over me. I’d been considerably younger, but age wasn’t a factor when your self-preservation instincts kicked in. As afraid of me as Tate was, I suspected his reaction in that moment hadn’t been about me at all.
“Tate, we’re here,” I said quietly, but I didn’t put my hands back on him.
Tate didn’t move for several long seconds and I didn’t rush him because I knew he needed to get control of himself; never an easy task when you were scared shitless about where the next blow would hit you. It was several long seconds before Tate finally looked over his shoulder at me and I could see the remnants of sleep still held him because he blinked his eyes rapidly as if trying to bring me into focus. Then he checked to make sure Matty was okay before finally looking around at our surroundings.
“What…what are we doing here?” he asked as he began the process of unbuckling Matty. As he climbed out of the car, Matty in his arms, he said, “We…we don’t live here anymore.”
“I know,” was all I said as I went to the trunk of the car. I kept my eyes on Tate as I pulled both his duffle bag and mine from it. His eyes fell on his bag as I came back around the car.
“You were in our motel room?” he managed to get out.
“That place was a shit hole,” I said as I once again put my hand on Tate’s arm to get him moving. “Makes this place look like the fucking Ritz,” I added as we walked up the walkway towards the apartment building.