Total pages in book: 41
Estimated words: 39068 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 195(@200wpm)___ 156(@250wpm)___ 130(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 39068 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 195(@200wpm)___ 156(@250wpm)___ 130(@300wpm)
Being held. Stroked. Murmured to between soft kisses.
Antonio’s affection terrifies me. It feels so good. Exactly what I’ve needed my whole life. And now that I’ve known this kind of attention, I never want to lose it.
Last night when I went to the bathroom, I was able to slip a message to the restaurant host. I promised him my father would reward him handsomely if he called the number and told him I was there.
Whether that will actually happen or not, I can’t be sure, but the thought of it now turns my stomach to knots.
Maybe he won’t call. He probably threw the paper out, rolling his eyes about the stupid American.
I hope.
This morning the idea of my father showing up to rescue me makes me queasy. Especially because I know that would mean him doing something terrible to Antonio.
It feels foolhardy to believe that the act of sex somehow changed us, but it has. Or maybe it wasn't the sex. Maybe the sex was the result of the thing that changed between us. Antonio made me feel special and loved last night. The way he watched me as I sang filled me. Filled up a crack and crevice in my tattered soul. Every single time I was rejected for being myself growing up. Every time I was not allowed to have my own feelings, control my own life, have my own desires. All of those fissures and caverns and crevices were filled simply with Antonio's admiring gaze.
That he accepted me for what I am and nurtured the rejected parts of me–the wild, rebellious side, the artist who yearned to perform–somehow changed me. I feel more whole today than I've felt maybe ever. Like the splintered, shattered parts of me have been glued back together.
And then there was the sex. I loved it. Not just how it felt in my body, but watching what happened to Antonio when he found his release. I loved seeing him out of control, desperate and needy. And then feeling his immense gratitude afterward.
So yes, everything has changed between us. We are not the same two people who stepped off The Honeymoon yesterday.
I could be pregnant with Antonio's child already. That thought, more than any other, slices a streak of terror through me.
How will this all end? If my father is coming for me and Antonio is the father of my child—where does that leave me? I'm Antonio's wife now. If I have his child, I should stay with him.
I can't deny the hint of satisfaction that idea brings me. That circumstances might force me to stay with Antonio and raise a child together. Would he be a good father? Better than mine? I saw something last night that tells me that he would be. An indulgence of me. A nurturing. And the way he let me take charge for my first time in bed. He didn't force himself on me. He didn't even ask if I was okay. He just made sure that I was. He knew exactly what to do to ensure it worked for me. And I love him for that.
Oh God, did I just think the word love? I can't love Antonio! He's my captor. My father's enemy.
But what if we're really a mad version of Romeo and Juliet? Two lovers from feuding families destined to be together.
Antonio nibbles on my neck.
I didn’t brush my teeth last night, and my mouth is filled with cotton. I shove the covers away from my legs and try to swing them off the bed. Antonio catches me and drags me back into the bed.
“Where do you think you're going?” He pins me down, hovering over me to give me a kiss.
I turn my face away. “I have bad breath!”
“I don’t care.”
He clearly doesn’t because he kisses me fully, his tongue delving between my lips, showing me that our mouths are one. Our breath, shared. When he pulls back, he reaches for a glass of water beside the bed, lifts my head from the mattress and puts it to my lips.
“How are you this morning?”
I drink down the entire glass of water and he chuckles. “A little hungover? I’d hoped I kept you up long enough last night for it to wear off.”
My body heats at the reminder of how he kept me up. “You did. I mean, I’m good. Totally fine. I just need to brush my teeth.”
“Okay, I guess that's allowed.” His smile reveals dimples I haven’t seen enough of. He releases me. “But come right back to bed.”
I climb out, surprised at how unembarrassed I am by my full nudity. I sense Antonio admiring my body, and it heats me from the inside out. He wants me to come back to bed. What does he have in mind? I’m not sure I can face him naked again in the light of day without alcohol.