Total pages in book: 48
Estimated words: 45785 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 229(@200wpm)___ 183(@250wpm)___ 153(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 45785 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 229(@200wpm)___ 183(@250wpm)___ 153(@300wpm)
I slipped my phone back into my pocket.
“Is she married?”
I shook my head. “Motherfucker split when Blake was a couple months old.”
That made him frown. “Jesus. That sucks.”
“Yeah.” Then again… “Might’ve been for the best, though. I never liked the bastard. He all but kissed my ass when I was there, and then as soon as I left, he’d be telling Piper that being in the military wasn’t that hard. How soldiers were just guys with attitude problems who needed uniforms and weapons to feel like men.”
“I know the type,” Joel chuckled. “There’s always a few of those at military bars.”
Exactly. Just like that. He knew. Every fucking time—like some civilians had to assert themselves somehow. It was ridiculous. Go to the nearest VA hospital, I always wanted to say. We had our own issues. We didn’t need insecure assholes who wanted to engage in a pissing contest.
“It’s damn good to see you, Joel.” I just had to say it.
He smiled and rested his forearms on the table. “You too. I actually thought about you the other day. I went surfing for the first time in probably ten years and heard you laughing at me in my head.”
I laughed. “That bad, huh?”
“Worse.” His eyes were something else in the dim lighting. After a few beers. When he was looking at me like that. I still felt the heat. “You don’t live down here, do you?”
“No,” I answered. “If I’m not working in some remote corner of the world—or training in DC—I’m usually in LA. A buddy and I are starting a private security business there.”
He let out a low whistle. “Busy man.” Then he dropped his gaze as he brushed his middle finger over my ring finger. “And you said something about a shitshow? Where does your wife fit in with that schedule?”
I was gonna have him under me before this night was over. The signals couldn’t be stronger, and I was powerless to resist, evidently.
“That’s why I’m getting divorced. She never did.” I was three days into Lizzie’s ultimatum. Quit my job, or we were over. “I was naïve to think I could have a normal marriage when I work the way I do, and she thought she could change me.”
I’d warned her from the beginning that I would be away a lot. They didn’t deploy private contractors like regular service members, but we still had contracts that took us away for weeks and sometimes months, with little option to stay in touch.
“And there’s no changing you, is there?” Joel smirked a little.
I raked my teeth over my bottom lip and contemplated my answer. It wasn’t exactly a topic I wanted to flirt over; my marriage was a personal failure, and my self-confidence had taken a hit. I’d loved her at some point and couldn’t really recall when the affection had faded. I’d prided myself on being observant, and here I was, wondering when my wife and I had become roommates instead.
I was also bitter. Because while I couldn’t change much, my job was about to change. Tariq and I were slowly but surely moving away from PMC work. We had to continue taking contracts to fund our start-up and expansion. We didn’t wanna die as old grunts who didn’t know how to quit. But yeah, it was a slow transition—one Lizzie didn’t wanna be there for. Seven years.
On the other hand, did I want her to be there? I didn’t love her anymore. She was a stranger, a feeling I couldn’t really explain. With Joel, for instance—I didn’t know his birthday, his favorite TV show, or dreams about the future. I just had a sense about him. One I didn’t have with Lizzie. Nor had I ever. Despite that I knew everything from her favorite color and food she couldn’t stand to the music she listened to when she worked from home and her bucket-list travels.
“I’m sorry.” Joel released a breath and shook his head. “I’m making light of something you’re clearly struggling with. I’m a selfish prick.”
Joel was anything but selfish.
“What makes you selfish?”
He exhaled a laugh and leaned back in his seat, and he scrubbed a hand over his face. “Let’s just say I wasn’t too happy to hear you got married.”
I smiled. An unfamiliar warmth spread across my chest, taking me back to those two weeks we’d snuck around together. His corny jokes had drawn out too many dumb grins that my usually dry sense of humor was resistant to.
I leaned back in my seat too, and I folded my arms over my chest as I sought out his feet under the table. I just wanted some contact, so I brushed the toe of my shoe against his ankle.
A sexy little smile played on his lips, and drowsy, half-tipsy heat simmered in his eyes. “I guess I always held out hope for a day we ran into each other again.”