Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 92368 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 369(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92368 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 462(@200wpm)___ 369(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
“But, when I came here and found out about Gigi…Jesus.” He grabs the back of his neck, tipping his head back to the dark sky. “I’d given you up, and it was all for nothing. And, even worse, I’d missed out on four years of my daughter’s life.”
I don’t know what to say, so I say nothing. My mind is racing with everything he just told me.
“Cam…” he softly says my name, pulling my eyes to his.
What I see there halts all thought. He moves closer to me, leaving mere inches between us. I can feel the heat from his body. My pulse starts to race.
“Letting you go was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.” His voice is rough. “Harder than watching my mother’s body being lowered into that grave. I loved you so much, Dove. I still do. I’ve never stopped loving you. And I’ve spent the last five years missing you.”
His words touch all the bruised parts inside me, like a soothing balm. But I can’t let him get close. It’s too much.
All of it.
Panic grips my chest like a vise.
And, when he reaches a hand out to touch me, I move back, wrapping my arms around my chest.
“It’s too late, Zeus. We’re different people now. I’m different.”
He shakes his head. “You’re still the same. You’re still my little Dove.”
“I…you’re not being fair. You can’t say these things to me. And how am I supposed to believe a word you say? You admit that you lied to me about something so hurtful as cheating on me.”
“It’s the only time I’ve ever lied to you.”
“I honestly don’t know what to believe anymore. All you seem to do is throw bombs at me and then walk away, leaving me to clean up the mess.”
“Believe that I love you. I want you. And I’m not going anywhere.”
“Until you disappear to train for weeks on end for the Dimitrov fight.”
He erases the space I just put between us, and I find myself backed up to the front of the porch.
“I’m not leaving you or Gigi, Dove. I’m here to stay. Wherever my girls are, I’ll be. Port Washington is my home now. That’s why I left the hotel, and I’m renting an apartment.”
My heart lurches and reaches for him. He never once mentioned that he was looking for a place to rent. I just assumed he’d stay in the hotel until he had to start training for the Dimitrov fight.
He’s saying all the right things. Doing all the right things. Everything I wanted from him years ago. But, now…it’s too late.
I can’t risk my heart on Zeus again. I have Gigi to think of now.
I steel myself, putting the walls back up, and slip out from between him and the porch.
His body follows me around.
“That’s really great. For Gigi’s sake. But don’t do anything with me in mind, Zeus. Because we’re not happening. I don’t trust you anymore.”
“I’ll earn it back,” he counters.
I shake my head. “It’s too late.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Don’t fool yourself into believing that.”
“I’m not giving up on you…on us.”
“Well then, you’ll be wasting your time. Put your focus on our daughter, Zeus. And forget about me.”
“I haven’t been able to forget about you in the last five years, so I can’t see it ever happening.”
I walk away from him, heading for the porch, so done with this conversation. “Go home, Zeus.”
I hear him sigh behind me.
“Before I do…in the bar, you said you wanted to talk to me in the morning. What’s it about?”
I turn to face him, standing on the porch steps. “I think we should tell Gigi who you really are. Tomorrow, after her ballet class.”
A multitude of emotions crosses over his face. All of them good. “You’re sure?” he checks.
I nod.
“Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me yet. Let’s see how tomorrow goes first.” I walk to the door, rubbing my hands over my arms, warding off the chills I feel at the thought of the day to come and the night I’ve just had. The night I’m still having.
My thoughts have somewhat calmed, and I pause before opening the front door to ask him something.
Something that I need the answer to.
When I turn, I find him still standing on the driveway, eyes watching me.
“Zeus…” My voice suddenly sounds amplified in the silence. “If you hadn’t seen me in the club that night, would…you have ever come back for me?” I have to know this. It matters a lot.
His eyes lower to the ground. He pushes his hands into his pockets, the toe of his boot kicking at the gravel. “I don’t know.” His words are quiet. “I wanted to come back. God, I wanted to. I just…” He sighs and lifts his head, finally meeting my eyes. “I just didn’t know how to.”
Even though I anticipated this, hearing it still hurts like a mother.