Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 122550 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 613(@200wpm)___ 490(@250wpm)___ 409(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 122550 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 613(@200wpm)___ 490(@250wpm)___ 409(@300wpm)
“All of your touchy-feely stuff.”
“But I’m not very good at being classy and sophisticated, as you just saw! And now I wrecked what was probably some priceless vase, which I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you for. Unless I can make a go of writing. And I hate reading those books. I only like reading romance, but I don’t want you to be ashamed of me.”
He ran his hand over his face and she braced herself for his disappointment. For him to tell her that if she wanted to be with him, she had to try harder.
Regent kept his hand over his face for long moments.
Shit. This was bad.
Jilly, you idiot.
“How much did that vase cost?” she whispered.
Perhaps she could get two jobs.
“Do you want me to leave?” she asked.
He moved his hands to her hips, holding them tight. “You are going nowhere, and I never want to hear you say that again. I told you that if you came here, there would be no leaving me, ever. Didn’t I?”
“Yes. Sorry,” she whispered. “I guess I thought you might have changed your mind.”
“Fuck, Jilly.”
“You’re really mad, huh? Did the vase mean a lot to you? It had sentimental value, didn’t it? I’ll get three jobs. And I’ll work harder to be the sort of woman you need. I promise.”
Just don’t make me leave.
“I’ve failed you so badly.”
Um. What?
That was the last thing she expected him to say.
“No, you haven’t,” she said hastily. “You could never fail me. You . . . you’re perfect!”
“If I was perfect, then my girl would never have a moment’s thought about not being utterly fucking amazing. She’d know she was wonderful because she would see it in my eyes every time she looked at me. She would hear it in my voice every time I spoke to her. She would feel it in my every touch. So no, I am not perfect. And yes, I have failed to make you understand that you are the most wonderful, gorgeous, smartest, sexiest woman in the world.”
Her mouth dropped open.
She had no words.
“But . . . but . . .”
“And the fucking idea that you think you have to change to suit me, that you have to mold yourself into someone you are not to please me . . . makes me so fucking angry I want to wrap my hands around someone’s neck and squeeze them until they can no longer breathe.”
Holy. Crap.
“The only issue with that, of course, is that I would have to strangle myself. And I’m not taking myself out of the picture because while I might not deserve you, you are mine. You’re mine to protect, to take care of, to fucking cherish and love. And while I’m an absolute fucking failure, I will improve. I promise you that.”
It was more than a promise, though. It was a vow.
And she still couldn’t seem to find her voice.
“I don’t . . . you said fucking a lot.”
That wasn’t what she’d meant to say. But he wasn’t a man who swore that often in front of her.
Sometimes, he could be quite old-fashioned in his views.
Well, most of the time, actually.
“I apologize. I’m very angry.”
She sighed. “You are? To me, you just look a bit thoughtful. When my father was angry, he yelled, maybe threw a few things, and sometimes he’d grab hold of me and shake me.”
He frowned. “And you’d prefer I did those things?”
“God, no. But maybe you could just tell me. Like, Jilly, head’s up, I’m in a pissy mood tonight, so I’m going to sit in my office and contemplate life. Or I’m horny, come suck my dick. Things like that. Except, you probably wouldn’t say it like that.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure. Jilly, have you been worried about coming to me because you don’t know how I’m feeling?”
Finally. He got it.
She nodded. “I don’t want to bother you if you’re busy. So if you’re in your office, I figure you don’t want to be bothered. But you’re always in there or out of the house and I don’t really see you. Not that I’m complaining!”
Urgh, that sounded like she was.
“Fuck,” he muttered. “I thought you were staying away because you were having second thoughts about being with me. I’ve been thinking of all the ways I could convince you to stay with a cold, emotionless bastard like me and the only thing I could come up with was locking you in my room and fucking you until your brain was mush and you couldn’t move.”
“That . . . well, I mean, that would work.”
He cupped her face with his hand. “All my life, I’ve been raised to be this way. To not get close to people. To not show affection. To keep myself apart. I’ve never been in a relationship before and it seems I am ill-equipped to handle one. In short, I’m fucking everything up.”