Total pages in book: 20
Estimated words: 18241 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 91(@200wpm)___ 73(@250wpm)___ 61(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 18241 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 91(@200wpm)___ 73(@250wpm)___ 61(@300wpm)
Matthew has already gone the extra mile for me, especially after everything.
The dinner was one of the best I’ve had in a long, long time. The steak was surprisingly good, which was a big deal since the last time Matt and I saw each other, he almost burned down my dad’s kitchen while cooking spaghetti and meatballs.
But more than that, it was his company.
God, I terribly missed him. I missed hanging out with him, talking to him, touching him. He wasn’t just my boyfriend. He was also my confidante and the first person I wanted to share any news with.
He could read me easily. I could tell him one thing, and he’d see through the lies and half-truths. That was why I did what I did—a note and nothing else.
And in the process, I didn’t just lose my fiancé, I lost my best friend too. I hurt him so badly, and I don’t know how to make up for it. I don’t know if he can ever forgive me fully. I don’t even know how he’ll react if he finds out I’m moving back to Sweetheart Falls and not just visiting.
God, I hope the rain lets up soon, so I can leave him in peace.
It gets worse before it gets better.
That’s what people always say, right? The next morning, the storm intensifies. Any hope of me going down on foot and heading to Dad’s house crumbles. I have no choice but to stay here for another day or so.
Good thing Matthew’s mood seems to have improved. It’s better than last night, at least.
Our truce is back, and we sit on his porch, drinking coffee and listening to the rain pounding on the roof. I can barely make out the woods through the sheets of rain. The trees sway violently, their branches thrashing. A flash of lightning lights up the sky, which is followed almost immediately by a crack of thunder that makes me jump in my seat.
I pull my knees to my chest and grab the cup beside me, wincing at the way it scalds my mouth but welcoming the distraction. I ache to brush my fingers across his skin or run my fingers through his hair.
Matt is on the other side, sitting with his legs crossed at the ankles. I envy how relaxed he looks, and I pretend I’m looking at our surroundings, but really, I’m stealthily checking him out. He’s so much bigger than last time, rougher around the edges, and too sexy for his own good. All my lady parts tingle with excitement at the mere thought of being around him.
Goldie is scared of the thunder, but she prefers our company because she snuggles beside me and closes her eyes.
“Why did you really name her Goldie?” I ask, casting a sideways glance at him and breaking the silence.
“We can’t have three Goldie Hawns?”
“Ha! So, she really is Goldie Hawn? You said it was because she’s a golden retriever.” I turn at the waist to look at him, but he continues to stare straight ahead.
“That too.”
“You named her after my goldfish. Why, Matt?”
A muscle ticks in his jaw, and he lifts his mug to his mouth. “The same reason why I’m letting you stay here. I have no idea.”
Electricity zaps through the air at his admission. This is it. This is my cue to say sorry. I’ve wanted to, but I’m a coward through and through. I don’t know what else that says about me. I had the audacity to leave but not to own up to my actions.
“Matt, I never really apologized for what happened. At least not face-to-face. I’m a coward and a bitch, and you did not deserve any of it.”
Except for the tightening of his hand on the mug, he gives no other indication that we still haven’t addressed the elephant in the room. The unspoken questions float between us, and I ignore the impulse to shut up, not explain, and leave when it’s convenient to avoid confrontations. That’s what I did the last time. Not anymore.
It’s clear we’re both still struggling with our past. Again, my fault entirely.
I look away too because I need all the courage I can get, and looking at him will only pull me back to those moments when I could practically hear my heart breaking. “I need you to understand it wasn’t about you, Matt.”
Matt still doesn’t say anything, but he’s never been the type to speak when his emotions are all over the place. He prefers to open his mouth when he knows he’s got them under control.
I clear my throat and stare inside my mug as if I can find any strength there. “I left because…”
“Because you wanted to follow your dream and I was in the way because of the proposal. Yeah, I know.”
I whirl around to face him so fast, Goldie jumps out from beside me and pads to Matt. “You do?”