Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 112755 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 564(@200wpm)___ 451(@250wpm)___ 376(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 112755 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 564(@200wpm)___ 451(@250wpm)___ 376(@300wpm)
“I wouldn’t put it past him. Turn right here?”
“Yes. I hate him, Mama. I wish I never met him.”
“Baby, if that was the case, you wouldn’t have my wonderful granddaughter.”
“Yeah, but you know what I mean. I should’ve picked a better father for her. She’s going to be so upset when I tell her about this.”
They went quiet for a bit.
“Well then, maybe you shouldn’t be the one tellin’ her nothin’. He should be the one sittin’ her down and laying this news on her.”
She couldn’t disagree, but she feared Jacob would turn into a spin-doctor and lie to Kaylee, instead of sticking to the facts.
“Mama, there’s Walmart.” She pointed straight ahead. “Wait for this car to pass, then turn into the parkin’ lot.”
“Okay.” Only the sound of the blinker could be heard over the ticking time-bomb of her heart. A few moments later, Mama pulled into the parking lot, then gripped the steering wheel tight again as cars were coming from every direction.
“Mama, relax. It’s gone be all right. Just drive slow… ’bout twenty miles per hour until we find a parkin’ space.”
“He’s all on my ass!” Mama yelled about a truck that was behind her.
“Ignore him. Ain’t nobody ’sposed to be speeding in no parking lot no how. He can go around if he feel like he can’t wait.” Mama soon found a spot, and though it was touch and go, she managed to maneuver the car into it. It wasn’t perfectly straight, but close. “Good job, Mama.” The woman beamed. “See, it wasn’t that bad. We can switch now, and I’ll drive you home. I ain’t got much time. I gotta pick up Kaylee early from school because she has to have an eye exam, and get her prescription for her allergies, then go to work.”
Desiree reached for the door handle, but then Mama touched her shoulder, making her pause and turn to her.
“Baby, you okay? I know Jacob made you angry, but maybe he just really wants to take care of y’all child, and all he can do is find a decent job somewhere else.”
“Mama, there’s plenty of jobs here. He already moved to Bowling Green. That’s far enough, but at least it was still in Kentucky. Now he’s talking about going out of state, down to Houston. I just don’t trust him.”
Mama nodded in understanding. Desiree reached for the door, then stopped again.
“Mama, can I ask you something?”
“You know you can. What’s on your mind?” The woman spit her gum into a silver candy wrapper, and placed it aside.
“You and I have spoken about this a lot over the years, ’specially since you’ve been clean, and I appreciate that, but do you ever blame me for you and Daddy breaking up?”
Mama’s eyes immediately sheened over.
“Desiree, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this, but when I said them awful things to you as a kid, I was on that mess, and not in my right mind. I blamed you for my marriage falling apart, and yo’ daddy going to jail for the awful thangs he did to you and Destiny, but I was wrong. He was the reason. He knew it, too. I’m just glad that eventually I had enough sense to file for divorce, but by then, the damage was done. I’ve apologized a million times, and I’ll apologize again if I have to because—”
“No, Mama. I don’t need any more explanations or apologies. I am asking because I’m afraid that if I confront Jacob about this, and tell him he can’t keep popping in and out of Kaylee’s life, that she’ll get a little older and blame me for it. Children need consistency, not part time parents. I’m afraid if I put my foot down with him, she’ll think I kept her daddy away from her, just like you felt I took daddy away from you, and the family, by tellin’ the counselor and the nurse at school what was happening at home.”
Mama’s shoulder slumped, and she took a deep breath. She looked out the window.
“I’m not in any shape, even now, to be givin’ anyone parenting advice. But since you brought it up, I think sometimes, baby, you just got to meet people halfway. Where they are at. You know what type of upbringing Jacob had.” Desiree nodded in agreement. “All that fightin’ and what not. He saw his mama being abused on a daily basis. I think he’s just doing the best with what he’s got. He’s tryna be a father when he had no example of what that meant. Being a parent isn’t easy.”
“I know… tell me about it. Kaylee is getting older and doesn’t like being at home with me as much. At first I liked it, but I see now she’s tryna stretch her wings. Gain some independence. She calls me all the time on that cellphone, talkin’ ’bout she wanna go over such and such house to study, or go out to eat with a friend. She’s starting to like boys now, too.” She rolled her eyes. “I just wanna protect my baby. I wish I could keep her small, innocent, safe, but… I can’t. I don’t want her to hurt!”