Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 83542 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83542 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
“I’m so sorry I did that. I thought …” Aleks shakes his head. “I think I read into that.”
I glide backward, putting some distance between us. “Yeah. You did.” I want to reassure him somehow, but I’ve got nothing.
That’s something else I’ve learned over the years with bicurious guys. If you tell them it’s okay or forget about it or anything like that, it gives them the impression it wasn’t a big deal and they can do it again.
But when he says, “I think I’m done,” and skates toward the exit, I force myself to follow him because this is the last thing I need—to start a feud with a teammate.
“Aleks, wait …”
He doesn’t. If anything, he moves faster.
The back of his neck above his practice jersey is bright red, and even though I chase after him, even off the ice, he’s still faster than me.
I catch up to him in the locker room, where he’s already stripped out of his jersey and shoulder pads. He has nothing but skin underneath, seeing as he didn’t realize I was going to suggest we skate in full gear—I needed to feel the weight of my pads. Full gear grounds me. Feels more like a game or a proper practice. It was the reminder I needed that I love the game, and if I want to keep it, I have to turn my attitude around.
I look at Aleks’s chest, his smooth body that under any other circumstance might tempt me to put my rules about straight guys on hold, and when my gaze travels back up, I find him staring at me.
“And I wondered why I was getting mixed signals. You’re eye-fucking me right now.”
I wave him off. “I eye-fuck everyone. I draw the line at actually doing it. Especially with straight guys and especially teammates.”
“I’m not straight. I knew from an early age I was bi but found my wife before I was really old enough to explore it.”
That explains the weird reaction when I told him I could take him out after his divorce because we wouldn’t have the same competition.
“The teammate thing still stands. I … I’m already in enough trouble without piling an illicit affair on top.”
“Fair enough.”
“Are we cool? Like, clearly you have all these deep, emotional feelings for me, and—”
He flips me off, and I smirk.
“Such deep, deep feelings,” he deadpans. “But in all honesty, I think I just wanted to get that first kiss out of the way. Maybe even a first hookup. It’s so weird being separated from Rebecca that I have all this anxiety about dating. I figured—”
I don’t let it get to me. I won’t. “Use the slutty fuckboy as a training course to gay sex. Got it.”
“No. It’s not even that. That you’re a man didn’t really factor at all. It doesn’t with me. I figured getting that second first-ever time out of the way would help. But I realize it was crossing the line and blurring our friendship, and we still have to work together afterward. So can we forget it happened?”
I let out a relieved breath. “As long as we’re cool, I can do whatever you want me to do.”
Aleks throws up his arms. “There you go giving mixed signals again.”
“You wish I was hitting on you. You can’t handle all of this.” I wave a hand down my body and do a little shimmy.
“Well, yeah, that’s the other reason I realized I made a mistake. You’re a gorgeous guy, but damn, you’re annoying.”
My laugh is forced. “My confidence is my warning label. If you can’t handle my attitude, you can’t handle this.” I put my hands in a V, framing my junk. And in a way, I’m not even lying.
The people willing to put in an effort with me have more of a chance of not walking out the next day after getting what they want from my body. Of course, this theory has never actually proven to be correct. Because they leave.
They always leave.
Or, I do before they can.
Self-preservation is a bitch.
“You’re so charming,” Aleks says. “What made me want to kiss you in the first place?”
It sounds like a joke, but I’m pretty sure I know the real answer.
“Because I’m familiar. You’re comfortable with me. And hey, if my spot on the team wasn’t on the line and you had more experience in the queer department, I’d jump on your dick so fast, you’d come immediately.”
Aleks throws his head back. “Is this what dating guys is like? All crude remarks and sex?”
“What’s wrong with that?”
He glances at me and smiles. “Nothing. I just want it.”
I snap my fingers. “Ooh, here’s an idea. Go out there and get it.”
His mouth opens, but no sound comes out. He turns back to his cubby and says under his breath, “Nah. I’m still too nervous.”