Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 93453 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 467(@200wpm)___ 374(@250wpm)___ 312(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 93453 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 467(@200wpm)___ 374(@250wpm)___ 312(@300wpm)
I had the best of both worlds: the woman I was in love with and the new branch that was starting to grow at a fast pace. Then in a matter of seconds, it was over, and I was a changed man. I think I spent every day for six months drunk. From the time I opened my eyes until I closed them, I was drunk and in a fog. I would attempt to come to work, but I would end up passing out in my office with the bottle of whiskey in the middle of my desk. I hated every single second that I wasn’t drunk because it was the only time I didn’t see her. I didn’t feel her beside me. I didn’t hear her tell me she loved me or call my name.
The more drunk I got, the closer I felt to her until my parents intervened. Not just my parents, but my father, my great-grandfather, grandfather, all of my uncles, and most of my cousins. They picked me up off my floor while I was passed out, and I woke up in my childhood home, pissed at the world. I said things I could never take back. Hurt the people who loved me most in the world. Ravaged my father to the core and kept kicking him while he was down. It was my grandfather and my cousins, Ethan and Gabriel, who literally took me by the scruff of the neck and pulled me out of my house. They tossed me into a cold fucking shower and watched me go cold turkey.
They sat there while I raged on. While I blamed the whole fucking world for my grief. I would see the sorrow and pity in all their eyes, and watching my parents cry tears for their son, who was still alive, bothered me. I didn’t want them to shed a tear for me. Especially since they watched me cry more tears than I thought a body could create before I accepted the help. I listened to the doctors and more therapists than I can count on one hand. It was a waste of everyone’s time because the anger and rage I held inside me fed my blood. I would pretend I was fine, and then when I was alone, I would hate the whole fucking world. I would drink after hours when no one would see. I became the man I am today. A man I’m not proud of. A man I think I hated. A man who was lost and never was going to be found.
I walk down the hallway to my office and toss the bag on the desk before walking to the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water and going back to my office.
Pulling out the black chair to sit, I open the bag and pull out the burger with a folded note on top of it. I put the wrapped burger on top of the desk while I open the note.
It’s been a while. Why don’t you stop by tonight?
Isabel
I fold the note back up and toss it in the garbage can beside my desk before unwrapping the burger and taking a bite. Another thing I started doing was having a revolving door of women. The first time I slept with someone else, I came home and threw up, then I went to Jennifer’s grave and lay with her. My head on her cold tombstone, I asked her to forgive me. A string of one-night stands. A string of nameless women. A string of faceless women. Without fail, as soon as I would sink my cock into them, all I saw was her. It might have been the booze. Whatever it was, I didn’t care. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday I would go and sit with her and then go out, get drunk, and fuck some random. Over the years, there were a couple who I would go back to, but other than fucking them, I wanted not one thing from them. And it wasn’t a surprise to anyone. Everyone who knew me knew my story, knew my heart belonged to one woman and one woman only. I would never give my heart away to someone else, it wasn’t even mine to give anymore.
I take another bite of the burger before taking the fries and rings out of the bag and tap the mouse to start the computer. I’m opening the emails I have to go through when I hear the sound of boots coming into the office.
I look up and see Emmett walking down the hall toward my office. He’s wearing jeans and a long-sleeved shirt pushed up to the elbows. A hat that has seen better days sits on his head backward. The dust and sand from the barn is on his face. “Hey,” he greets, watching me as he walks into the office, “I was looking for you.”