Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 78085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78085 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 390(@200wpm)___ 312(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
“Harlee, you were never a plaything to me. I…I…” My words trailed off as I tried to figure out what I wanted—no, what I needed to say.
She waited with her head slightly tilted. “You what?”
Tell her, Brax. Tell her how you really felt that night.
With a shake of my head, I took a few steps back, the right words eluding me.
I saw it on her face—the moment her heart broke again because of my inability to be open and honest with her.
“Right,” she said. “If you’re simply looking for a warm pussy to sink into, I’m not that woman. Go find Brandi for that.”
She pushed past me, and I reached out for her arm, gently turning her so that she faced me again. I backed her up against the wall, yanking her hands over her head and pinning them there. I could feel her fast breaths. My entire body overheated, and not because I had a winter coat on. It was her. It had always been her.
My heartbeat was rapid in my chest, and I wasn’t sure if it was because she honestly thought I only wanted her for a quick fuck, or because she told me to go find another woman. Either way, I was nearly blindsided by the mix of emotions. Lust, anger, regret…love, even? Hell, I didn’t know up from down.
“If that’s what you really think, then why are you even helping me, Harlee?”
Her throat bobbed as she swallowed as she managed to say, “Because I’m a stupid idiot. Or maybe it’s because you’re my best friend’s brother, and I feel obligated.”
That hurt more than I thought it would.
I closed my eyes for a moment and whispered, “I was scared, Harlee.” When I opened my eyes, she was staring at me, her brows drawn in confusion.
“What are you talking about?”
“That night we were together. Being with you…”
I closed my eyes once again and tried to calm my racing heart before I looked deep into those baby blues.
“Being with you, I felt things I’d never felt, Harlee. It was different, and scary, and I found myself wanting things I’d never wanted before.”
“Things?” she whispered.
“Yes. Things like wanting to give up everything simply to see your smile. Things like wanting to fall asleep with you in my arms and wake up with you still there. And when you told me you had feelings for me…I panicked. I don’t know how else to say it. We were young, you were in college, I was growing a new business and needed to focus on that. I wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment, or so I thought at the time.
“I don’t really know the why of it, Harlee. But the only way I could think to push you away was to lie. To tell you I didn’t feel anything after we made love. The truth was, I felt…” I let out a long sigh. “Fuck, I still don’t know what I felt. Because I haven’t felt it since. All I know is that it scared the hell out of me, and I wasn’t ready to face it.”
Her eyes darted all over my face until she looked toward the window. The room was darker now, so I knew the sun must be going down. I wanted to grab her and shake her. Beg her to tell me what she was feeling or thinking or…hell, anything after I word-vomited all of that after holding it in for so damn long.
“We missed the last ferry,” she said softly before she looked back at me.
My heart dropped. All I could do was nod and step away from her, giving us both the space we needed.
Her chest rose and fell with heavy breaths, and I knew my confession had thrown her. Hell, it had thrown me. I hadn’t been prepared to say any of that. I’d wanted her to think she—that Ms. Seaside—was about to be caught. That I had an in at the lighthouse to maybe make her panic a little.
But the whole thing with Brandi had thrown something off inside me, especially when Harlee reacted the way she did. For a brief moment, I couldn’t help but wonder if her feelings were the same as before. I didn’t want Harlee to think I was interested in Brandi, or any other woman, for that matter.
Clearing her throat, Harlee pushed off the wall and started toward the steps. “We need to see if Kris has any open rooms at the bed and breakfast.”
All I could do was stare at her. I waited for her to acknowledge what I’d said, but when she turned and headed down the steps without another word, I felt a piece of my heart break off.
I deserved it, I knew that, but it still hurt.
The sound of the door to the lighthouse shutting pulled me out of my thoughts, and I finally headed down the steps.