Total pages in book: 30
Estimated words: 27923 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 140(@200wpm)___ 112(@250wpm)___ 93(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 27923 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 140(@200wpm)___ 112(@250wpm)___ 93(@300wpm)
She cast her eyes to the floor and said the words that would haunt me for the rest of my life. “Why don’t you love me as much as I love you?”
I wanted to fall to my knees and let her know that my decision was motivated by my unwavering love for her. At that point, I had the urge to beg Piper for forgiveness and erase all my words. The sorrow in her eyes was worse than anything I’d suffered, and I’d risk my life to make that look disappear from her face.
But instead of doing what my heart begged me to do, I opened Piper’s bedroom window and climbed out.
As I walked down the street and away from Piper, the unshed tears I’d held at bay began to fall down my face.
CHAPTER 12
Piper
For ten years, I’ve held onto the memory of the love of my life walking away from me like I was a weight holding her down. Kaye’s abandonment had me spiraling into a fuckin’ vacuum of crippling sadness. I stopped wanting to partake in any aspects of life that brought me joy. I became a black hole, consuming everything that emitted the slightest sliver of light.
I close the distance between Kaye and me, enclosing her between my arms and the bathroom stall. “You think you did me a favor? Newsflash Kaye, I didn’t go to Princeton.”
“I thought I was doing the right thing. I didn’t want to pull you down like I did my mother. Once a rising star, her life took a turn for the worse when she got pregnant with me, and her dreams crumbled into misery. I didn’t want that for you. I didn’t want you to wake up one day, full of resentment towards me and the life we built, and then leave. Like she did.”
“There’s one vast difference between me and your mother, Kaye. That woman never loved your father. She didn’t know all the dark corners of his heart or the weaknesses of his character. I knew all the ugly parts of you, Kaye, and I loved them. I loved you not despite your faults, Kaye, but because of them. Every minuscule thing about you was something I cherished. I worshipped you like the sun.”
Kaye briefly closes her eyes before fixing her beautiful, dark eyes on me. “You had a chance, a fucking future that was bright. Piper, you have a fire inside you that would’ve been extinguished if I’d stayed. You know I’m right.”
“Your so-called decision hurt, Kaye. As much as you want your decision to be the right thing, the truth is that you made a choice on my behalf that I didn’t want, leaving me decimated. You claimed to love me but then walked away, never asking me what I wanted. Your decision fucked me up in so many ways. You know I can’t let my guard down emotionally? Your supposed altruistic choice ten years ago took my ability to let anyone in. You know I’ve never fucked a woman over three times? I leave as soon as they get too close. I haven’t even kissed another woman since I’ve tasted your lips. Isn’t that fucked up? You fucked up my life by leaving.”
Kaye’s chest heaves erratically, her breaths shallow and rapid, as if she’s gasping for air amid a haunting nightmare. I long to get under her skin, prick the rawest parts of her soul, and ignite her passion. I don’t care if it’s rage, sadness or lust. Anything is better than this polite discussion. Kaye tugs at her arm, gliding on the prim suit jacket I want to rip off her body.
She freezes, her eyes widening in either terror or anticipation, as I forcefully grasp her hands and pin her arms above her head. “I hate your ugly monkey suits.”
I grip the lapel and the smooth fabric of her immaculate white-collar shirt, ripping it apart and scattering buttons onto the floor. “I. Fucking. Hate. Them.”
Kaye’s lips part, and a soft moan escapes her lips as my hand moves inside the jacket and brushes her large breasts. I pull down her blazer and expose the curves beneath her skin-tight white tank top.
For two years after Kaye, my heart plummeted to the lowest depths of despair, weighed down by an immeasurable grief that consumed my every breath.
But my grief allowed me to weave lyrics consumed with gut-wrenching misery and shattered dreams. Songs that fueled my passion for music and forced me to strike out and do what I truly wanted—create art that inspired others and healed my soul.
Yet even knowing that those past events got me to this point in my life, I still long to lash out at Kaye. A desire in my soul to break her, shatter her strength, leaving her a shell. What stops me is the knowledge that had Kaye stayed behind, she would’ve withered. No one would have witnessed her brilliance, hard work, and vision. The small minds that surrounded us would’ve crushed Kaye’s spirit.