Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 77354 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 387(@200wpm)___ 309(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77354 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 387(@200wpm)___ 309(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
“Do what you like with her.” He shudders. “I need a fucking shower.”
“You can sleep here tonight, if you want,” Worth says.
“You know I have a hotel I can stay at,” Leo says, not missing an opportunity to talk about his hotel. He’s definitely got something brewing there, but now’s not the time to press him on it.
“I know,” Worth replies. “But you might not want to stay in a hotel.”
“Thank fuck I never told her about that,” he says.
“I’m sorry, man,” Fisher says. “I know you liked her.”
Leo shakes his head, making it clear he doesn’t want to talk about it. And that’s it with Leo. He comes across as this open, affable guy who’s everyone’s friend, but he keeps his most important cards close to his chest. Sometimes I worry about him.
“I’m fine,” he says, then turns to me. “Did she get anything? Anything valuable?”
“Aarvi’s pretty sure she didn’t. In the end, Aarvi let her through a section of the firewall into a dummy system to try and collect some more data from her. It spooked her and… the attacks stopped.”
Leo shakes his head. “I’ve got to stop thinking with my dick. Honestly, the sex was pretty mind-blowing.” He shudders again. “I really gotta take a shower. Worth, man, do you mind?” He heads to the stairs, but pauses and turns back. “I’m sorry,” Leo says to me, and I just shake my head.
“Don’t,” I say. “I brought this to your door. I’m the one who’s sorry.”
He takes a step toward me and we hug, silently reaffirming the bond we share. It’s energy. It’s forgiveness. It’s life force. It’s friendship through every up and down.
“I love you to your bones, man,” Leo says. “I’m sorry this is happening.”
Worth and Leo disappear upstairs, and I feel my body sink into the floor, heavy with relief.
It’s over.
It went better than I could have hoped. Leo didn’t question me—not for more than a second. Neither did any of the others. Proof, not that I needed it, that these men are more than family. We might not share the same blood, but the bond of trust between us is unbreakable.
My thoughts turn to Efa. I wish I’d afforded her the same level of trust. I haven’t known her as long as the men here tonight, but she was just as loyal. I threw that loyalty away far too easily. I pushed her away and pushed her away until she disappeared. I have no one to blame but myself.
Now that the truth’s uncovered, now that Leo and the rest of my circle have been told what’s been going on, there’s a feeling of certainty about the world being back on its rightful axis again. I feel it in every atom of my body, but peace is a distant feeling nonetheless. Up close, all I can focus on is how empty I feel, how night feels like day and day feels like night, and no matter how hot it gets in New York in August, all I can feel is ice cold since losing Efa.
THIRTY-FOUR
Efa
I have forty-five minutes for lunch. I head back into the laundry room. Daylight filters down to the basement here from a lightwell and it’s one of the few places in the hotel where staff can relax and see daylight. I also kinda like the constant rumble of the dryers and the mountains of white towels that vary in size but never completely disappear. Somehow, it’s comforting that some things are certain in this world.
I grab my book from my locker and head toward the benches where we sit when the housekeeper gives her team talks. I step over the bench so I can face the lightwell. When I crack open my book, the alarm on my phone goes off.
I check it. It’s the alarm I set when we went to the Catskills to make sure we didn’t sleep the entire day away. I don’t know why I don’t turn it off. It’s a jab in the chest. Like I don’t think about him enough. I don’t need an alarm to bring him to mind.
It’s been over two weeks since I saw him, since he questioned my loyalty and accused me of countless things I’m not capable of. On the two Monday nights since I last saw him, I couldn’t stop myself from wondering whether Leo’s still part of the inner circle, trying to squeeze past Fort’s high walls.
Or are those walls Bennett’s?
Both, maybe.
It’s Tuesday lunchtime now, and I can’t help but be curious about what happened last night.
My head is always so full of Fort and Leo and Bennett and Bennett and Bennett.
I hate him, and I don’t, but I still absolutely miss him like crazy. I’m pissed off and frustrated that a friend of his is still getting away with what he’s doing. I have so many questions. About Leo. About Fort. About Bennett. How long will it be until I stop rehearsing the list over and over in my head?